


Noises

by ToxicLaughter



Series: Murlendez AUs [4]
Category: The Good Doctor (TV 2017)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, B U R N, F/F, F/M, M/M, Neil is a Football Player and Wrestler, S L O W, Shaun is a nerd, Slow Burn, Study Buddies, idk what else to put here, it's a high school au that's all you need to know fam, lots of fluff, other tags
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-08
Updated: 2018-09-14
Packaged: 2019-04-20 06:56:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 18
Words: 31,916
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14255436
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ToxicLaughter/pseuds/ToxicLaughter
Summary: He can’t stop staring. The kid is having a god damn panic attack and in the girl’s locker room no less. The sound of the robotic man’s voice followed by the chime through the com system makes him uneasy too, but not to the point where he’s shaking like a leaf in the corner. Neil makes the sudden decision to cover the kid’s ears, pressing down on his ears over his wavy brown hair. The kid instantly calms. Neil’s heart bleeds all over the place, really, it’s quite gross.Newest Chapter: 18Uploaded On: 09-14-18COMPLETED





	1. Lockdown

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the first chapter of this multichapter AU, I didn’t plan on being able to upload this until tomorrow, but I had time today to read through it and edit it. I think I got most of the mistakes, but chances are I missed something. I hope you guys enjoy this, I have the next four chapters already written, they just need to be edited and I should be able to upload one every other day, if not, it’ll be once a week.

Aaron Glassman wasn’t sure if it was the best idea to bring Shaun with him. He looks over to the young man lifting a box of linens from a stack of other boxes and takes them upstairs to his own personal bathroom. Thinking back, however, he knows that he couldn’t let Shaun stay there with his mother, who had completely dissolved after the death of her youngest son. Although Shaun didn’t do well with change, he was taking the move rather well, which was a good sign. Aaron handed Shaun a photo frame when the boy came back downstairs. “You left this in the car.” Shaun doesn’t say a word as he grabs the photo and runs it up to his room.

It’s Thursday and the first day of classes aren’t until the upcoming Monday, but Glassman has to be there starting Saturday to get acquainted with his new coworkers and fill out all the proper paperwork for Shaun’s transfer. The young man’s psychologist had told Aaron that maybe it wasn’t best to uproot Shaun’s entire life, to erase all of his current friends from his world and make him restart in a whole new town, in a place as busy as California, no less. He never had the heart to tell her Shaun never had any friends. Not after Steve.

Glassman puts the dishes away, one plate at a time, and orders pizza on his cell phone. Plain cheese. Just like Shaun likes. Halfway through putting away his cups, which are all plastic so if Shaun drops them they won’t break, the doorbell rings. The pizza man is older, in his thirties, and he expertly handles both the pizza and the cash Glassman hands him without dropping a thing. He shuts the door with some thanks.

Knowing yelling isn’t the way to communicate with Shaun, not in the slightest, he walks upstairs and knocks on the boy’s door. “Foods here.”

“Okay.”

“It’s pizza.”

“I don’t like pepperonis.”

“I know. It’s just plain cheese, Shaun.”

“I don’t like pepperonis,” Shaun is reaching for the box.

“I know,” Glassman opens the box. “And there aren’t any.”

With that, Shaun stands, walks past Aaron, and quietly enters the kitchen to get plates. They eat in their bare living room on the floor, watching the news on Aaron’s brand new flat screen. The weather comes on and Shaun stares with his mouth open as they do a quick rundown of the what the week will look like. Glassman shuts the TV off as soon as the report is over. “Bedtime Shaun.” The boy doesn’t argue, he never has, and heads back upstairs to his room.

Aaron stays awake for a few more hours, looking over the files on each of his new employees. Then, because he was denied the information, googles what happened to St. Bonaventure High School’s previous principal. There isn’t a lot online about it, a few local articles about the man’s termination are available, but they leave out most of the major details. He rubs his chin in thought, maybe he’d ask one of the teachers tomorrow and they’d tell him. He closes his laptop. _Whatever it is, it sure is hell is a well-kept secret._

>>>>><<<<<

Allegra Aoki is a nice woman and out of all the people employed at the school he likes her the most. She had spent most of his first weekend holding his hand, being the perfect vice principal and explaining to him the type of students at St Bonaventure and giving him the rundown on his colleagues. Come the first day he feels like he’s been working there since its inception.

He has to arrive an hour before any students which means so does Shaun. He bribes the boy out of bed and into his car with a plate of three pancakes. 

_I want three._

_You can have four if you want._

_I only want three._

They arrive at the high school at six am, not an ungodly hour, but too early for Shaun and Glassman watches as the boy nearly falls asleep in his office. He prints off Shaun’s schedule and gives him a quick tour, at least the best tour he can muster while he holds a map in one hand and Shaun’s schedule in the other. He’s thankful that Shaun won’t forget where each of his classrooms reside and that he’ll only have to do this once.

Pulling an iPhone out of his pocket, Aaron hands it to Shaun. “It has my personal phone number and my office number. Just in case.” Shaun twists the phone around in his hand. It has a blue case that feels like tough rubber. He likes blue.

“Okay.”

“Okay,” Glassman repeats, clapping his hands together triumphantly. He picks up Shaun’s blue backpack and hands it over. “You’ve got money for lunch in the front pocket and,” He opens the largest zipper and pulls out a green apple. “Just in case you get hungry throughout the day.” Shaun just nods and takes the apple from Aaron. As Shaun leaves Aaron’s office he can hear the new-fangled principal shout after to him to have _a fantastic day_.

>>>>><<<<<

Meeting in Claire Browne in AP Bio had been one hundred percent due to the fact that Shaun had been forced to sit at her table. He was more than content to sit at the four-man table at the back of the room with exactly zero people sitting at it. Mr. Fox, his teacher, has another idea. “Go ahead and take a seat up front. Table One.” He looks at Table One, looks at the piece of laminated paper hanging from a string above it with the number drawn on it. He looks at the three faces not looking at him. And sits.

As soon as he takes his seat in the navy-blue plastic chair there’s a palpable tension. He’s sitting next to a girl with blonde hair and blue eyes and he makes a note of how conventionally pretty she is. If she was older and her body was less gangly and more filled out, she could be a model. For obvious reasons, she’s the first to notice him. “Um,” she looks across the table at her friends.

One, the boy, just shrugs and pulls out his phone. The other, a girl, who objectively may not be prettier than the blonde, but catches Shaun’s eye a little more, smiles at him. She looks a lot nicer than the blonde and he wishes he could be sitting next to her.

“Hi,” says the brunette across from him, her smile warm but her expression overall confused. “I’m Claire.” He nods. She frowns. “You’re new to town, right?” He nods. “Well I’m sure you have a lot of questions, what the best make-out spots are, which movie theater serves edible popcorn...”

“No, I don’t really care about those things.”

“Ah,” she looks nervous. Shaun does that to people. Makes them nervous. “You gotta be curious a little bit about the school, about the people.”

“I already printed a map of the school and San Jose off the internet and people don’t interest me very much.”

She nods, slow, thinking. “Okay. I can understand that. What’s your name then, stranger?”

“Shaun Murphy.”

“Hello Shaun Murphy.”

“Hello.”

They don’t talk to him for the rest of the class. He picks up, by overhearing, that the boy’s name is Jared and the blonde’s name is Morgan. He likes Jared, he’s very honest. Jury’s still out on Morgan.

Mr. Fox ends his PowerPoint presentation about the syllabus and what he expects from his students by turning on the lights to the classroom. He makes a science fiction sound effect and says something about ‘eye lasers’ which makes most of the class chuckle. Shaun decides that he likes Mr. Fox and his bad jokes.

Jared, who is much taller than he looks, is on his left as soon as he enters the hallway, following the path Mr. Glassman had showed him that morning to his second period. Claire is on his right, brushing a piece of hair behind her ear. 

“So, what’s your damage?” Jared asks, lightly bumping Shaun in the shoulder with his elbow.

Shaun cringes, coiling in on himself, but keeps walking. He’s never been big on the whole touching thing. People were often too aggressive and too rough with him. Even Mr. Glassman, who, when Shaun lets him, hugs Shaun with an iron grip that makes him feel suffocated. When Jared asks again, Shaun contemplates his question. He looks down at his arms, then his legs, then up at Jared. “I’m not damaged.” He says slowly.

“Don’t be an _idiot_ Shaun.” He rolls his eyes. “Are you, like, retarded or something?”

“Jared!” Claire smacks him the shoulder from behind Shaun’s back

“What?”

“You can’t just say that. It’s offensive.”

Shaun can’t handle listening to them anymore and he makes a quick break for the flight of stairs he remembers from that morning. Just in time, like the universe had planned it, a flood of students separated him and the Wonder Twins.

>>>>><<<<<

Although, as much as he doesn’t like her chattering, he has to give Claire some credit for her tenacity. She finds him again at lunch, picking at the processed slice of meatloaf on his tray and plops herself down right next to him. She starts by complaining about Jared, about how _obtuse_ he could be sometimes, then apologizes, then offers him one of her carrots.

He takes it from her and returns the goofy smiles she sends his way.

“Where ya from Shaun Murphy?

“Casper, Wyoming.”

She whistles. “Long way from home. What made you move?”

“Mr. Glassman got a job at the school and he asked me to come with him since my mother is depressed.” And _wow_ , Claire thinks, _that’s a lot to unload_. “We moved into a big house and he bought me this phone.” He pulls the blue phone out of his pocket and shows it to her.

“Wait, Mr. Glassman? Like, Principal Glassman?” Shaun nods. “Shit, Shaun! Listen,” she leans towards him, keeping her voice low. “Don’t tell anyone else that you live with the principal, it’ll just cause trouble you don’t want, trust me.” He doesn’t understand why, and she doesn’t explain any further, so he just nods, planning on asking Glassman about it later. “And give me that,” she takes his phone from him. “I’m giving you my number.” When he just stares at her, her bronze skin tints with red and she shoves his phone back into his hands. “Not for like that, but because I saw your notes today in class. You’re all color coded and organized and I could use that in my life. Although, to be honest, you probably don’t have to take notes on the class syllabus.”

Shaun thinks Claire talks a lot. She proves him right over the following twenty minutes of lunch. No one ever joins them at their table, either because Claire isn’t very popular, or they can all smell the ‘weird’ on Shaun from miles away. That’s what the kids at his old school would call it, ‘weird’. Shaun was ‘weird’. Steve would often tell them to go fuck themselves.

At some point they’re exchanging schedules and Claire seems happy that they have both their first and last period together. The bell rings to signify the end of lunch. “I’ll see you in psych, Shaun, we can sit together, kay?” He nods, picking up his tray of uneaten food and walking with Claire to the trash cans. She dumps the rest of her carrots.

>>>>><<<<<

It takes two weeks for Jared to warm up to Shaun, to finally start treating him like a normal student. They ask him why he’s so weird one day in the courtyard between classes (at least, Morgan asks) and he tells them the truth, intent on not being ashamed of who he is. That’s what Steve would always tell him. _You’re the smart one, You’re better than all them, You’re not weird Shaun, you’re eccentric, Be proud of who you are_. They’re not at all phased by the news that he’s autistic and he’s glad to see that they don’t really care. Morgan is a little apprehensive at first, whispering something about social suicide, but after a while she warms up to him.

In fact, she even goes so far as to sit next to him in Health, which is one of his more favorite classes. She’s swinging her legs back and forth and chewing on green gum when the teacher stops mid lecture to answer the gray phone on his desk. Morgan sits up straight, putting the back of her blue pen to her pink lips. She looks to Shaun. “Something fun is about to happen.” He watches as she puts all of her things in her bag and pulls out a pair of headphones.

“Class, leave all your things here and line up at the door,” the teacher says, shutting down his computer. “We’re having a lockdown drill and our class gets the honor of being in the locker room. And since I don’t want to fight the crowds, we’re leaving now.” He opens the door.

Shaun stands to follow the other kids out into the hall, his phone back on his desk along with all the rest of his belongings. Morgan is at the front of the line, promptly ignoring him to listen to her music. He remembers lockdown drills at his old school, before he Steve died, and his mother made him stay home with her. He remembers how loud they were and how Steve would do his best to cup his hands around one of Shaun’s ears and tell him stories. Smiling at the memory he wonders why Steve wasn’t the older brother.

They go into the girl’s locker room, to which most of the boys just gag and a few laugh about busting open one of the lockers and stealing some girl’s unmentionables. Shaun’s not sure why it’s so funny. His teacher orders them to sit down along the wall, backs against the lockers, and to remain _quiet, so help me god_.

The space between the wall and a boy who Shaun only recognizes as the kid who always got in trouble for talking during lectures, is empty. He sits. His arms feel unnatural and extend before him, elbows on knees, hands hanging down. The boy next to him doesn’t even notices and continues chatting with the boy on the other side of him.

Two minutes later the drill starts.

A loud booming electronic voice comes onto the intercom and the lights shut off at the same time. _SECURITY ALERT, SECURITY ALERT, SECURITY ALERT_

Shaun’s hands start to shake and before he knows it he’s tugging at his hair while trying to cover his ears. Then he begins to rock back and forth. He’s having a panic attack, that’s what Mr. Glassman calls them. They only ever happened when Shaun was forced into a situation that poked and prodded at his nerves and he didn’t have anyone there to help him through it. One of his psychologist back in Casper had suggested anxiety medication. Mr. Glassman had declined it, decidedly not allowing anyone to throw pills at Shaun in attempt to fix any of his so-called problems.

The boy next to him turns, conversation long forgotten, and he can feel his gaze through the darkness. “Are you…?” The electronic voice takes a break for just a second, a chime replacing it, then starts up again. Shaun jumps. “Shit, okay, uh,” the boy scoots a tad closer. Shaun doesn’t move away from him. The moment he feels hands over each of his ears everything calms. He can hear his breathing, ragged and fast, and the breathing of the boy next to him. He’s okay with the hands too. They feel…okay. Not pressing, not squishing, just resting lightly enough to block out most of the sound. He reaches up and covers the hands with his own, holding them in place in fear of losing them.

The drill lasts ten minutes.

When the lights turn back on he’s a little surprised to not feel the hands ripped away from him. He opens his eyes and looks over the boy, who looks worried out of his mind. “Are you good? Do you need some water?” The kid, who, as Shaun looks closer, is older than him, removes his hands carefully and reaches into the backpack between his legs.

“We weren’t supposed to grab our things.” Is all he can say.

The kid chuckles. “Yeah, I-I know. I just don’t follow rules very well.” Shaun blinks at him, not sure if he should be associating with someone like that. He takes the reusable water bottle gratefully and twists the top open, ignoring his moral compass.

All the students around them stand and eventually they do to, required to wait for the rest of them to shuffle out before they can do the same. A hand tugs the boy out of Shaun’s vision. “Neil, come on, they’re letting us out of class early and I already texted Jess to meet us at the steps.”

“Yeah, one sec Marcus,” Neil (Shaun internally labels each of them) turns back to him. “You sure you good?” He nods, flinching away when Neil tries to touch his arm. Neil doesn’t even blink. “Okay. Keep the water bottle, it’ll do more good for you than for me.”

Shaun has to tighten the grip on the bottle in his hand, unable to process the situation. Neil waves over his shoulder as he leaves, ignoring as his friend Marcus murmurs something about ‘a spazoid’.

Shaun tells himself that he’ll return the bottle at some point. He never does.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter one done! I’m a sucker for sweet Neil, what can I say?
> 
> Also, I know that Neil is sort of OOC, but I just imagine him being a real sweetheart before he gets a stick firmly shoved up his ass due to medical school. Although, most characters in this are OOC, just because they’re high school students


	2. Hey September, Here's to You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Neil eats a PB&J. Shaun would like a marker.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This second chapter is a lot of world building, specifically for Neil. Thanks for all your lovely comments <3

It’s the first day of September and Neil is munching on a PB&J his mom made when Jessica comes from behind and wraps her arms about his shoulders. He’s deep in thought about the kid in the locker room from the week prior so she manages to startle him quite a bit. She laughs, sickeningly sweet, into his ear and takes a seat on the concrete step to his side. She outstretches her legs, puts on a pair of sunglasses, and waits for Neil to notice her new shorts.

When he doesn’t she sits up and taps his cheek with her finger. “Whatcha thinkin’ ‘bout?” He turns.

“This kid.” When she sulks and rolls her eyes, he smiles and leans in, kissing her with peanut butter on his lips. “And you.”

Jessica wipes her mouth with her hand, grimacing at him. “Gross Neil,” and she pulls out her chicken wrap. He ignores her, going back to his thoughts. And his sandwich.

“How’s your day been babe?” Jessica asks after a while. She reaches behind him to run her fingers through his hair. He hums his approval of this action.

“It’s been okay, yours?” She sighs, looking up to the sky and goes off into a tangent about how Mrs. Hiatt is a raging bitch and took away her phone for thirty minutes. She leaves out the: ‘I was on my phone all class this week and that’s why she took it away’, but he doesn’t need to hear that to know that’s what happened.

Marcus joins them part way into the story and jokes about how awful it must’ve been for Jessica to miss out on all those tweets from Taylor Swift and Demi Lovato. She flips him the bird. Before he knew it, the whole group was there. Marcus’ girlfriend shows up at some point, Neil hasn’t bothered to learn her name, and she brings a few of her friends. Jess rubs his shoulders as they socialize, occasionally leaning down to tell him that he needed to contribute to the conversation before they all think he’s died.

So, he makes a gag about her weight because he’s angry that she won’t just leave him alone and he knows she’ll piss off if he says it. She takes it about as well as he predicted and rips her things off the ground and into her arms. She stomps over him as she leaves, throwing the door open to the building and not looking back. He doesn’t follow her.

Things with Jessica had been stressed since the year prior’s prom. He had been late, by about thirty minutes, and she had lost her shit on him. Then he started noticing all the little things she did that bothered him. The way she took his nice mechanical pencils and never gave them back, the way she always had to one-up everyone’s stories with her own, and most notably the way she volunteered him for things he never wanted to do in the first place. Like when they were freshmen and she wanted to join the debate club but didn’t want to do it alone. So, he spent the first four months of his high school career sitting in a room listening to Jessica and other people yell at each other. It wasn’t a pleasant experience.

He goes to his sixth hour without texting her he’s sorry. He goes to his seventh hour texting Marcus to butt out of his relationship and if he wants to get on Jessica’s good side so bad then he can have her. He spends his final hour, psychology, holding both her hands and groveling because he can’t imagine life without her. She pretends like they weren’t even fighting, and he wants to yell at her just for that. They should acknowledge their fights and work on them, not push them to side. She constantly talked about the future, them getting married, but he doesn’t know if they’ll last that long.

He begins to tell her that they should talk about it, there’s no reason not to. That’s it worse if she just bottles it up inside and makes herself insane over it. She shushes him and points to Mr. Novak, the psych teacher that everyone in the school undeniably loved, who is rubbing his hands as he waits for the projector to turn on. Neil sighs.

They learn about personality disorders, about how schizophrenics can become catatonic without proper care. That thought scares him. That he could be carrying a gene that would make him lose his shit one day and he’d just stare silently at a wall all day long. He thinks if that ever happens he’d want someone to kill him.

Mr. Novak hands out a few worksheets for them to complete, just basic things to pass time, and then sits at his desk and watches YouTube videos. Neil occasionally tunes in to see what he’s watching, not surprised to see the man stuck in an endless loop of people getting hurt on camera. Novak is notorious for letting his students do the learning themselves, although most of them just hang out on their phone.

Much like Jessica. He wonders if she’s texting all of her girl friends about him. About them. He wonders just how much her friends knows when it comes to their relationship. Neil grumbles and puts all his attention into the coloring portion of the sheet.

He’s not sure if Mr. Novak knows that they’re all high school students, but he doesn’t mind pulling out a few markers and coloring a brain. It’s stress relieving. And he’s always been pretty good at coloring, not the drawing part, but the coloring is easy. He’s shading the cerebral cortex with a salmon colored marker when he sees two pair of legs approach him.

“Can I help you?” He doesn’t look up, just focuses on the paper in front of him. Two hands rest on his desk, one jingling with the sound of metal bracelets, and a girl leans forward. He can’t tell if she’s trying to flirt with him or is planning on hitting him. He’s laughing at either thought.

“I was wondering if I could borrow your marker.” She points to the one in his hand. It’s the only of its kind among the dried up 1990 Crayola markers Mr. Novak put out for them. He looks up to her.

“Oh hey,” He smiles at the boy at her side, immediately recognizing him. “Locker boy, right?”

“Yes. Can we have your marker?” He leans a little into Neil’s space too, but instantly leans out of it. Neil looks at the object of their affections, then shrugs.

“Let me finish and it’s yours.” He smiles. They wait in front of his desk. “So,” he says as he carefully colors in each fold of the gray matter. “I never introduced myself properly to you. I’m Neil.” He looks up at the boy.

“I’m Shaun Murphy.”

“Cool,” he looks back down. “You a freshman?”

“No, I am a sophomore.”

“You don’t look like a sophomore.”

Shaun looks at his chest. “I haven’t hit my growth spurt yet, so I am short for a boy my age, but so are you.” Neil’s eyebrow twitches.

“Is that so?”

“Yes. But I can tell you are a senior because your shoulders are broad and your voice is very deep.”

“I could be a senior, or that could all be caused by all the steroids I take.”

“Oh.”

“It was a joke.”

“It wasn’t very funny.” 

Neil frowns and puts the cap onto the marker, handing it to the girl. “I’ll come up with a better one next time.” Shaun nods his delight at this remark. Neil grabs a bright pink marker to do a few highlights. “You two coming to the football game tonight?”

Shaun nods. “Yes, Mr. Gla-,” The girl covers her mouth with her hand.

“Yeah! We’re gonna go, me and Shaun and few of our other friends. Are you going? We can all sit together!”

“Actually, I’ll be on the field,” he looks to Shaun who is staring at the girl, waiting for her to remove her hand. “I’m the center for varsity.”

The girl smiles. “Very cool.” She removes her hand for Shaun’s mouth. “I’m Claire, by the way. Nice meeting you and thanks for the marker.”

“No problem, see you at the game.” He smiles at the two of them. They walk away from his desk without another word. At least he knows the kid’s name now. Jessica laughs next to him and he turns his head. She’s tearing up, clearly finding something _hilarious_. “What?”

She shakes her head and waves her hand dismissively. “Nothing, I just think it’s so cute how you pick up strays all the time.” He glares. “What!? Come on, they’re clearly...I mean, you just have a pattern. You find kids that have no friends and make them into your little projects.”

“I do not.”

“Neil you gave the kid your water bottle. I think you’ve officially entered Project Manager Zone.”

“Well, you should find that endearing. Shows I have a big heart. Plus, he’s not a bad kid, a little weird, but not bad.” He thinks about telling her about what really happened in the locker room. Not just skipping to the end like he did when he first told her. He doesn’t because he knows Jessica, knows that she’ll use it against him _and_ Shaun.

>>>>><<<<<

Jumping on his toes, Neil limbers up before Coach Knudson yells at them to take a few laps. It’s another hour before the doors open to the stadium and another two until kickoff. Knudson is losing his mind though, worried about every little thing, including Neil’s ankle. He knows why, this game could be a huge opportunity if they can pull out the win. Neil twisted his ankle the day before however and Knudson has already expressed that he _cannot_ sit out this game. He needs his star. He needs all his stars.

Neil looks up to the stands, watching as the band sets up and a few teachers who get early access take their seats mingle. He’s not surprised to see Principal Glassman take his seat next to VP Aoki, but he is surprised to see Shaun sit on the other side of him. Maybe it’s some sort of weird way of acclimating the new kid? Letting him go see football games with the principal (what an honor! _yeah right_ ). Neil doesn’t think that’s very fair to Shaun. He doesn’t seem the most aware when it comes to socializing and any student that acts like a pet to any faculty that’s not an already beloved and respected teacher is an outcast. 

He pulls his leg behind him, stretching out his thigh. “Murphy!” He yells up towards the bleachers. They’re not very far away and Neil can be infamously loud. The boy looks towards him and gives a weak wave. Neil waves bigger and jumps the fence. He takes the stairs two at a time, barely out of breath when he reaches them. “You’re here early. Weren’t you coming with that girl?”

“Claire.”

“Yeah, Claire, weren’t you coming with her?” The principal ignores the conversation, and for that, Neil is glad. 

“I wanted to come with Mr. Glassman instead.”

“Oh.” He turns to said man. “You guys like best friends now or something?” He says it with a teasing tone and a smile. Glassman doesn’t reply.

“I live with Mr. Glassman, he is my friend.” Shaun says, looking to Neil. He feels like he’s fucked up. Feels like Jessica is going to pop out any second and yell at him for being such an ass. But, she doesn’t, and Shaun doesn’t say anything else about it. “Good luck.” He says instead.

Neil’s smile returns. “Thanks! Hey, Shaun, if you want, all the students sit over there,” he points to a section of bleachers at the 50-yard line, right up against the field. “They have posters you can hold and silly string and stuff. Sometimes they bring confetti. It’s a real hoot and holler.” _Hoot and holler?_ He says to himself. _Get a hold of yourself Neil, you fucking loser_. “And if we win it’s a lot easier to storm the field from there than it is from here.”

“I like sitting up here.” He lifts his head a little, looking over Neil. “I can see the whole field.”

“And Shaun’s not big on crowds, especially ones with rowdy teenagers.” Glassman pipes in.

He thinks of the locker room and nods. “O-Of course, duh. But hey, if you want, we always go to Sonic after the game, get some ice cream, hang out. Very chill. No rowdy teenagers, I promise. You can bring your friends.” He doesn’t wait for Shaun to give him a yes or no. “I gotta go though, if you want to come, find me after the game!” He runs back down the steps and onto the field.

>>>>><<<<<

The game goes off without a hitch. Neil’s ankle is sore, but he never collapsed on the field and he only needs a few Tylenol to get rid of the pain. When he’s benched, waiting for the defense to return to the ball to their team, he watches Shaun in the crowd. The boy’s back is ramrod straight and he’s following the ball like it’s a pendulum. He’s also got his hands over his ears. Neil wonders what it must be like to be afraid of something like noise. He can’t imagine it.

Jessica waits for him at his car, wearing their school’s colors (blue and white) and cheers as soon as she sees him. They hug tight. He savors the moment, knowing that the ups with Jessica are becoming more and more rare. “Congrats on the big win sweetie!” She kisses him. He presses into it, putting his hands on her hips. When he goes to deepen it however, she pulls away. “We better get going if we want to get there before the slushie machine breaks down.” 

“Can we wait for a bit? I invited a friend.” She agrees.

Shaun doesn’t show, much to his chagrin, and he spends the whole night moping. Jessica isn’t sure why and he’s pretty sure that she doesn’t care why. Marcus asks him why, but he waves his friend off, sipping at his vanilla shake in silence. Jessica glares over his grape slushie.

He drops Jessica off at her house, despite her wanting to come home with him. He barely turns his head, so they can kiss goodbye.

They don’t talk until Monday.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh shit, two chapters in two days?? I’m glad you guys like this, I’m having a shit ton of fun writing it. For the meantime, while I’m posting this, there probably won’t be any new one-shot AUs. Although I do have a few ideas for a serial killer Neil AU and maybe a band AU that could be multichapter, but for now this is my focus, promise! And I did a skeletal outline of this story and it looks like it should be around 20 chapters with a possible (it’s probably gonna happen) epilogue. E-X-C-I-T-I-N-G. ALSO: I totally forgot about Neil’s sister, thank you for mentioning her in the comments, just imagine that this is something that’s been happening to his family the whole time, she’ll appear in a later chapter, promise.


	3. Best Friend For Hire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shaun meets his neighbor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a short ass chapter. And it includes who I hope you’ve all been missing from this story so far.

Claire talks a lot normally…and then they meet Neil. And then she talks all the time. It’s always, Neil This and Neil That and when she’s feeling rather brave she talks about how attractive she is. How good he looks in his football uniform. How she can’t take her eyes off him in psychology. How she _wishes_ she could be Jessica. Shaun agrees, Neil is very attractive. But, he doesn’t like talking about him behind his back, even if it is mostly good things, and never mentions this to Claire.

Jared is just as fed up as Shaun and Morgan are and come the Monday after the game he’s threatening to skin her alive if she keeps talking about _Neil Melendez_. She huffs, sitting back in her chair and tunes back into Mr. Fox’s lecture about RNA.

She drops the subject until lunch when said subject swaggers up to their table and takes a seat next to Shaun. This doesn’t faze the sophomore and he continues to munch on the chicken nuggets in front of him. The other three gape. Seniors don’t associate with sophomores unless they have to. Especially not seniors the likes of Melendez. Neil takes a nugget off his plate without asking. Shaun just stares. “Come on,” he grabs Shaun’s tray and stands, walking away from them.

Shaun grabs his backpack, not sparing a glance at his friends as he follows Neil. “Why are you stealing my food?” 

“I’m not stealing it, I’m throwing it away Murphy.” And he does just that. Shaun feels the anger bubble under the surface. “But don’t worry, I’m not doing that without cause. Me and Marcus were gonna go get some food off campus. You’re coming with.”

“Okay.”

“Just okay, no arguments?”

“You’re very arrogant, there’s no reason for you to have to lie to me. It wouldn’t benefit you.”

Neil shrugs. “I’m not arrogant. Am I?” Shaun doesn’t answer him. He shows Shaun out to the student parking lot. “Plus, even if you didn’t want to go I’d still drag you. Since you owe me and all.”

“I owe you?”

“Sonic? Remember.” Shaun does remember. Glassman had thought it best if he didn’t go hang out with Neil and his friends after the football game and Shaun had agreed. He wasn’t good with people and even worse with people like Neil. “Don’t worry, it’s only gonna be the three of us. No new people. Promise.”

Neil drives a Subaru, nothing special. Shaun gets to sit in the back and watch over the two of them as Neil drives. He wonders if this is how friends are. Claire and Jared don’t have cars, so he doesn’t know how long it should be before he should get into a friend’s car. He doesn’t like Morgan enough to even consider getting into her car if she actually owned one. “Is it okay that I ride in your car?” He asks, accidentally interrupting Marcus’ story about his new flavor of the week.

Neil doesn’t seem to mind. “Yeah Shaun, it’s okay. Why, do you not want to be in my car?”

“No, I don’t mind it. It smells nice.”

“Good, I’m glad.”

“Why did you invite him?”

“Shut up, Marcus.” Neil jerks the wheel to turn into the burger joint, finding a parking spot quickly and hopping out. Shaun does the same, exiting the vehicle and holding his backpack tight to his chest. “You can leave your stuff in the car. No one will take it.” Shaun puts his backpack on his shoulders and shakes his head. Neil doesn’t push the matter.

With pleasure, Neil pays for Shaun’s new lunch. He also goes one further and buys Shaun a shake. “Chocolate.” Shaun says when Neil asks. “Thank you.”

“No problem.”

>>>>><<<<<

Math is probably the hardest subject for him. In the sense that it doesn’t come to him one hundred percent naturally like the rest of his schooling. It takes Shaun a while to finish but by the time he does it’s late enough to justify laying on his bed and staring at the ceiling. Trying to find the energy to get back up and do the _rest_ of his homework.

The tap on his window makes him jump. He sits up in his bed and walks over, pulling back his curtains. It reveals a girl, about his age, perching on his roof. He opens his window. “Thanks,” she says, stumbling into his room, uninvited. With a hmph she adjusts her leather jacket over her faded Joy Division t-shirt. It feels like she walked out of a catalog, her boots shiny and her pants tight. She lifts a controller up to his face. “I was halfway through Uncharted 4 and my controller died. Can’t find my charger. You got one?” He nods, opening his top desk and handing her a black micro-USB cord. “Lifesaver! You wanna come over and finish it with me?”

“No thank you.”

“Well, you got any food here, I’m starved.” She punctuated her sentence by patting her stomach. 

He nods. “Yeah, in the kitchen.”

“Show me?”

When they get to the kitchen she hops up on the counter and swings her legs back and forth. Shaun is a little glad that Aaron isn’t home and had to run back to the school to clear up something with a student in detention. He has a feeling Glassman wouldn’t approve of this new girl. She waits patiently for him to search the cupboards, only grimacing slightly when he hands her a box of club crackers. 

“Lea,” she says, her mouth full of crackers. 

“Shaun.”

She offers him a cracker. Shaun declines. “How old are you? Like thirteen?”

“Sixteen.”

She raises her brows. “No way, me too. Where do you go to school?”

“St. Bonaventure High School.”

“Ugh, I hate that place. Everyone that goes there think they’re so much better than everyone else. And the district funnels so much fucking money into them.” Quietly, he asks where she goes to school. She smiles, bopping him on the nose with her cold fingers. “I don’t go to school. Well, not regular school. I do online school.”

“Do you get lonely?”

“Doing online school? Nah, I have a few friends from the neighborhood to keep me busy. And now that I’ve finally met you, I have another. And this one is super cute.” He pinks up to his ears. “Don’t worry though, I won’t try to deflower you, there are rules, and one of them is to not fall for the cliché boy next door.” As she jumps down from the counter, she waves her controller in front of his face. “You _sure_ you don’t want to come _play_?”

“Yes, I am sure. I have a lot of homework to do.”

Grumbling she saunters to the door. “Boy scout.” From behind her, Shaun opens the door. “Well thanks for the charger anyways. See you later Shaun!” She closes the door behind her.

Shaun barely has time to think about what just happened when the door reopens and Glassman walks through the threshold. He’s looking over his shoulder with a small smile. “Who was that girl? She seems nice.”

“Her name is Lea. She’s our neighbor, she wanted to borrow a charger.” Glassman nods, setting down his briefcase and taking off his coat. Suddenly, he remembers his homework and runs back upstairs. When he gets to his room, his window is reopened. He leans over to close it, stopping when he sees the rock. Under the rock is a piece of paper with a phone number on it, Lea’s name signed at the bottom along with the message, ‘ _For when you need to borrow something from me_ ’.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Have I mentioned that I love Lea? Because I do. She’s such a good influence on Shaun’s social life and who better for Shaun to gossip with than Lea?


	4. Class Clown

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shaun is a good teammate. Morgan is not.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ♫Neil thinks he’s funny…bundunba….but he’s not! ♫
> 
> Thanks for all the comments btw, v grateful for those. I wasn't planning on posting this for a while, but I just finished writing the eighth chapter, so this is going much quicker than I thought. Enjoy!

There’s a thick charge in the air during fourth period Health class. The tapping sound on Neil’s desk gets louder, faster, then stops. He looks up to see that Marcus has leaned over to hold his pen steady. Neil rips his pen out from under his friend’s hand and starts tapping it against his forehead. Mr. Jones has announced that their next project on STDs would be done in groups of four. He also said that he wouldn’t be choosing the groups because he expects them to be adult enough to be partnered with their friends and still get work done.

And Neil is staring at Shaun. It’s because Shaun is smart as hell, he tells himself, already knowing that everyone is going to want to be in Shaun’s group, but there’s something eating at him. Something that’s sitting in the back of his head telling him he doesn’t want _anyone but him_ to be allowed to work with Shaun. 

Sitting on the edge of his seat he’s waiting for Jones to give him them all the go to group up. He can see Morgan, the blonde that always sits near Shaun, lean back and whisper something. Neil frowns. “…groups of four. You’ll do most of the work in class, but if you fall behind you might need to make it homework. It’s due Friday, so be diligent with your time.” When he sits, the whole class stands. 

Marcus gets the redhead in front of him to join his group, already looking her up and down, while Neil heads over to Shaun. By the time he reaches the sophomore he’s already got two girls standing over his desk. One is of course Morgan, who’s currently talking about all the work Shaun needs to do, which sounds like a lot, and another is a girl with curly brown hair and scowl on her face. “You can’t make Shaun do half the work.” The girl says. Neil agrees, sliding up to Shaun’s desk and kneeling by his side to get eye level with the boy.

“Got room for one more?”

“Not for you, meat head.” Morgan snaps.

“Yep.” Shaun says at the same time as Morgan talks. Neil ignores Morgan. 

“Thanks, Murphy.” He pats him on the back. “I’m Neil,” he waves at the girl across the desk from him.

She smiles at him, looking relieved that she won’t have to deal with Morgan all on her own. “Carly.” She pulls up a chair and he does the same. They all crowd around Shaun’s desk. “What STD do we want to do?”

Morgan’s staring down Neil as she says, “AIDS.”

“That could be interesting.” Shaun says, clearly not sensing the tension. The tension that Neil’s not sure why is there. Why does Morgan hate him so? “Although AIDS starts as HIV so it might make more sense to do our project on HIV, not AIDS.” Shaun opens his notebook and the class copy of the textbook. “I’ll start making notes.” 

“I’ll help.” Neil says, reaching under the desk to his right and grabbing the book from the bottom metal cage. “What page?”

Shaun is nice to study with, he decides. He does his work right the first time and doesn’t waste time chit-chatting like Marcus or Jessica. They get actual work done and Neil is smiling halfway through, occasionally cracking jokes in hopes of getting the underclassmen to laugh. “Hey, why did the scuba diver fail anatomy.” The girls groaned. “Because he was below ‘C’ level.” He tries to stifle his laughter but can’t. When Shaun doesn’t laugh with him and pushes the boy lightly on the shoulder. This earns some attention from Morgan. “What the hell, Shaun, you’re supposed to be on my side. Laugh at my jokes and shit.”

“That was a joke?”

“Oh my god, I’m so hurt. I think I might cry.”

Shaun looks at him, scanning his face. “You don’t look very hurt.”

“I was still joking.”

“Oh. Well you’re still not funny.” Neil laughs, and laughs even harder when Shaun just looks at him like he’s completely lost his mind. “You are very weird.”

He pats Shaun on the shoulder softly, Shaun doesn’t flinch, just stares. “Yeah, maybe, but so are you.”

After a while he settles down, focusing on his work and helping Shaun with his every once in a while. Carly is pretty helpful too, running to the library (and dragging Morgan with her) to get the butcher paper and decorating it as they gather all the facts. “We might finish this tomorrow!” Neil says with a wide toothed grin. “You’re incredible Shaun.”

Carly chokes on air and starts laughing. He looks over the table at her and she just waves him off. “Thank you,” he hears Shaun say. He nods, flipping the page in his textbook. “The bell is about to ring. We should clean up.”

While the underclassmen work, Neil texts Jessica. He tells her where to meet for lunch and that he misses her. Shaun hands him his notebook. Morgan removes her hair tie from her pony tail, rolling up the butcher paper and wrapping the hair tie around the paper. Carly walks up to Neil. “O-B-V-I-O-U-S.”

“What?” He asks, looking up from his phone. She looks down at his screen. Jessica’s name is proceeded and followed by red hearts in his contacts and their messages are full of emojis. She looks embarrassed.

“Oh, never mind. Sometimes my radar is off.” _Radar?_ He frowns at her. “Don’t worry about it.” She turns on her heel. “Shaun wanna grab lunch? We can talk about gross human biology stuff.”

Shaun shrugs. “Okay, I’ll let Claire know.”

“Claire Browne?” He nods. “Oh, cool, just invite her too. Actually don’t. No, do! Uh,” she smiles sheepishly. “Screw it, just take me to your friends. But promise you won’t let me do or say anything stupid around Clai- your friends.”

“But how will I know that it’s stupid before it happens?”

“Just use your intuition Shaun. You coming hot stuff?” Neil tilts his head at the compliment but shakes his head. “Too bad.” The bell rings and they all leave Neil behind. 

Marcus comes up behind him, detailing his entire conversation with the cute girl with dyed blue hair that sits in the front of the class. Neil tunes him out, thinking about Carly. _Obvious, obvious about what?_

>>>>><<<<<

Sharp hipbones press into his hands, so he presses back, reaching his other hand back and placing it over Jessica’s ass. She moves his hand up to her back. They’re making out in the back of his Subaru, Jessica wearing short shorts that Neil _knew_ she only ever wore to make him jealous, and his shirt he left at hers that weekend. They break apart, taking deep breaths. “This is nice.” He says, looking into her eyes. She nods, leaning back into him.

He wonders if Shaun has a girlfriend. That Carly girl is nice and ever since Monday when they started working on their project they’ve been hanging out a lot. It’s Thursday and he’s seen them eating lunch together every day. Or maybe he’s dating Claire. They really do hang out all the time. But he’s pretty sure that Claire is with Jared. At least sleeping with him. So, maybe not Claire. Carly then. Definitely not Morgan, that’s for sure. 

Jessica punches him in the shoulder. “Where are you?”

He looks at her, she’s upset, her blue eyes staring into his brown ones. He grabs her by her hips, tight. “Right here, with you.” She rolls her eyes, crawling off his lap and exiting the car. Sighing, he rubs his temples.

Jessica grabs her bag from the front passenger seat, saying something about finding her friends, and heads off back towards the school. He hits the back of the driver’s seat a few times. There’s a tap on his window and he jumps, looking over to see Shaun standing next to him. He opens his car door, walking past Shaun to get his stuff from the front. “Are you okay?”

“Fine Shaun, just fine.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah I’m sure.”

“Claire says that sometimes people lie when-,”

“I said I’m fine Shaun!” He slams his door shut. “God, sometimes you’re insufferable.” He lays his head against his car. “Leave me alone.”

There’s a long silence and Neil feels like he wants to punch his window out. “Okay.” He hears Shaun start to walk away and instantly feels bad, turning around to tell Shaun to wait, reaching out to grab his wrist. It’s the first time Shaun flinches away from his touch, holding his hands at his sides and by his face. They don’t say anything to each other as Shaun picks up his pace and heads back towards the school.

Then he realizes that Shaun doesn’t have a car and he was in the parking lot, more likely than not, _for him_. He kicks his tire. “Why am I such an asshole?” He whispers. 

>>>>><<<<<

They present their project the following Monday, it’s already been scored, but they have a test in a few days so Mr. Jones is using their projects as study material. Neil hasn’t spoken to Shaun since Thursday. Morgan does most of the talking, clearly doing her best to take as much credit for the poster as possible. Carly butts in a few times, correcting Morgan, causing the blonde to turn red from embarrassment.

When they finish, the class claps. Neil doesn’t sit back in his original seat and instead boots a freshman out of the seat next to Shaun. “Hey.” _HEY? HEY NEIL? REAL FUCKIN’ SMOOTH._ “Sorry about last week, I didn’t mean it.”

The other boy nods. “Okay.”

“We cool?”

“Yeah. We’re ‘cool’.” Neil smiles.

“Cool.”

>>>>><<<<<

Lea throws her boots across the room as she takes them off, pushing her entire body up onto his bed. She stretches, putting her hands behind her head. Shaun watches as her The Who shirt slides up her body, revealing part of her stomach. He looks away, knowing this is something he shouldn’t be seeing. “So, he apologized? At least he didn’t like, just ignore it.” Shaun nods and climbs onto the bed next to her, staying sat up right. A pillow is tucked under her arm and she cuddles it as she speaks with him. “Are you okay with him now?”

Over most weekends Lea had spent her time in Shaun’s room, answering questions about people and how to deal with them. She was very nice, always answering him even if she said his questions were stupid. When she would ask for more specifics he would give her the run down. And then she would sit there for a while, thinking, and then solve his problems for him. Although most of the time her ‘solutions’ were something along the line of ‘just punch him, right in his mouth’. “Yeah, I accepted his apology. We’re okay now.”

“Good, I’ve never met him, but he’s good for you. Get’s you to focus on something that’s not school.”

“What do you mean?”

She leans up on the pillow, making a scoffing sound. “You’re kidding? It’s so obvious that you like him.”

“I do like Neil, he is very nice.”

She groans. “Shauunnnnn, not like that!” She doesn’t elaborate. 

They spend the rest of the night watching movies on Lea’s Netflix account. When Glassman calls up that dinner is ready he asks if she wants to join. Shrugging, she agrees, stomping down the stairs with him and helping Shaun set the table. Glassman asks her a few questions about being homeschooled and she engages in conversation with him enthusiastically. By ten o’clock, Lea’s parents are calling, and she has to leave. She whispers, “Keep thinking about Neil,” to Shaun before she leaves. He doesn’t know what she means by that, but nods anyways.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Neil needs to learn how to control his anger, so he can touch his bby again.


	5. Pretending

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jessica would like to stop pretending. Shaun would like to touch Neil's elbow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy smokes you made it to chapter five! AKA the Homecoming chapter. AKA the chapter you've all been waiting for. (Also, if you haven’t noticed already, this fic is going to span Neil’s entire senior year. I’ll probably wrap it up around the time Neil graduates.)

“Oh my Lord, Neil, you look so handsome!” Two hands enwrapped his face and squished his cheeks together. Waving the hands off he smiled, looking at himself in the mirror. It was the same suit he wore to homecoming last year, but thanks to wrestling and football he finally filled the suit out. His mother looked over his shoulder, holding her hands in front of her mouth as she beamed with pride. It was mid-October in San Jose so he knew it wasn’t going to be very cold, but the warmth from his jacket made him smile. 

The homecoming game had been the day before against their main rival school. They had lost, but it wasn’t such a big deal, because they got to end the season without any major injuries. Coach was pleased and gave all the seniors a speech about becoming adults and moving onto the next chapter in their lives. He was going to miss football.

Jessica was waiting for him downstairs, sitting on his couch in her navy-blue cocktail dress. She had bought him a tie the year before to match it, but he’d lost it at some point, so his current tie is more of a sapphire blue. It makes his skin look tanner and his mother comments on how much she likes _this_ color over the color he wore last year. Patting down on his chest, he turns a few times in the mirror, doing some final checks, and then follows his mother into his sister’s room.

He can’t bring himself to go into her room the whole way and instead stands at the threshold. He watches as his mother pats her hair down, whispers about where Neil is going, and then checks her medical equipment. A room that used to be pink and full of life had morphed into a hospital room. The beep of the electrocardiogram a constant reminder that things would never get better. His mother looked at him and he wiped his eyes. Every day was hard. Days like today. Where he did stuff that his sister should be doing with him, were worse.

His mother closed the room, lightly touching his arm and walking downstairs. He follows.

On the couch he can see that Jessica is on her phone, texting. Last year he drove them to homecoming and he had waited in her living room. It had been awkward to say the least. Jessica lived in what could be described as a mansion and most of her house was decorated with expensive art pieces. Having seen his uncomfortable behavior from the year before, she had offered to drive this year. She stands when she sees him and walks over. “You look good. Like the tie.” He smiles at her.

“You look beautiful Jessica, as usual.” He reaches out to grab her waist and pull her in for a kiss.

The hand on his chest makes him swallow a lump in his throat. “Not in front of your mother.” She hisses, hiding it with a smile. 

They take a few pictures and then Neil hugs his parents goodbye. They tell him to be home by one and he agrees, already knowing that Jessica’s parents want her home by midnight. Jess pulls him out the door by his elbow, whispering something about not showing up after _that bitch Ellie_ and practically runs to her Bentley. He’s impressed that she doesn’t trip and break her teeth.

The theme for his senior homecoming is An Evening at the Louvre, something that apparently Carly came up with. (He’s not really surprised to hear that she was on the committee but is surprised to hear that she was practically the dictator of the event. When he asked other people who helped set up homecoming they would all shake in fear and describe the time when Carly kneed a fake Van Gogh in half and threw it across the room.) Neil looks around as they enter the school gym. It’s dark, but he can see the cutouts of the Mona Lisa hanging above his head. Jessica lets go of his hand to gander at the sights as well. “Very impressive.” She says, admiring the way the lights make the ceiling look like glass at nighttime. Fake versions of famous paintings and sculptures line the walls and right in the center of the dance floor is the Venus de Milo. 

They walk up to it, pushing past the few people already partying around them. “It’s really well made,” she says, lightly touching the gray Styrofoam. Neil agrees, whoever made it must’ve spent hours upon hours carving the masterpiece into creation. 

“And the love birds have arrived!” Marcus slings his arm over both their shoulders. Jessica picks the one on her up like it’s a used tissue and disposes of it far away from where she’s standing. Marcus doesn’t look bothered by this reaction. Neil points out Marcus’ girlfriend and lack thereof to which the other boy just shrugs. “She didn’t make the cut.” There are a lot of girls in their school that ‘don’t make the cut’. 

For a second, he looks around, scanning the faces of the crowd. “Hey, you seen Shaun tonight?”

Marcus shakes his head. “Knowing Murphy, he won’t show up. I doubt he even knows that it’s happening tonight. Now, can we stop talking about Shaun Murphy and party!” 

Neil’s not surprised to hear that Shaun’s not there. Homecoming doesn’t exactly seem like a _Shaun_ scene. But that doesn’t change the fact that he feels like something’s missing. 

He goes to the table of refreshments, picking up a small plastic cup and filling it with lemonade. The bass of the music thrums through his chest and he stares at the dance floor. Watching Jessica laugh, without him, doesn’t phase him much. That’s just how things are now. They’re happy apart, miserable together. Part of him feels like he’s being unreasonable. Like he’s not reading the situation correctly. But the other part knows exactly what’s going to happen. “Neil? Hey!” He turns his head to see Claire. 

He admires her dress, the maroon color pairs well with her freckles. “Hey, Claire. You here with a date?”

“Yeah, Jared took me. You?”

He motions to Jessica. “My date is a little preoccupied.” Claire follows his gaze and cringes. Shrugging, he brings her attention back to him. “It’s a whatever, don’t worry about it.”

>>>>><<<<<

The song is called At Last and it’s slow enough that even swaying his hips as he counts the metronome in his head feels too fast. Jessica is leaning against his shoulder, humming. They spent most of the dance apart, Jessica networking and Neil hanging out with the underclassmen. He ran into a few of his fellow players on the football team and had a good time horsing around with them. But now, here, listening to his girlfriend’s heartbeat, he knows there isn’t anywhere else he’d want to be. 

She lifts her head, asking him if he’s okay. He nods. “I wanted to talk to you about something,” she says, straightening her back. “And I wanted to do it here, when you’re happy.” He swallows. This is what he’s been waiting for. Waiting for her to finally say something. Say something about their relationship. Attempt to work on it. Anything. He’s so happy his heart is pounding. This is all he ever wanted. He wanted her to talk with him, wanted her to feel safe talking with him. Not with her friends. Not behind his back.

He can’t help his smile. “Okay, let’s talk.”

“I think we need to break up.”

And suddenly it’s like he’s falling through the floor into the void. Like his whole world is being tore down around him. He had been brought to high and then knocked down on his ass so fast he thinks he has whiplash. Black surrounds all around him, invading his vision. And then just Jessica. Jessica. His first love. First girlfriend. The only person he ever imagined being with in the future. He had thought that they’d work their issues out. Work through the rough times. Get married. Have a few kids. “Why?” He chokes out, looking around them and realizing why she did this here. So they wouldn’t cause a scene. So he’d have the whole weekend to recuperate. He thinks she’s a bitch to do something like that.

He feels her hand rest softly on his cheek. “Can we please stop pretending Neil? Stop pretending that we’re both not feeling _this_. It’s literally killing me inside.” She gestures between the two of them. “I don’t want to be with someone who can’t stand to be around me.”

“That’s not true, I-I…Jessica you’re my everything.” He’s whispering, leaning into her and gripping her wrist. His eyes start to water. Voice rasp.

“We both knew this wasn’t going to last anyways. College was going to tear us apart. And if not college, our jobs. I want to be a lawyer, you a doctor. We’d have no time for one another.” He lets out a shaky breath, letting go of her and taking a step back. She reaches for him. “We can still have fun tonight, as friends? You’re still my best friend.” She’s crying too now, and he feels guilty for thinking she was a bitch. This hurt her as much as it hurt him.

“I.” He rubs his mouth. “I have to go.”

“Neil wait!”

Bursting out the gym doors he runs across the courtyard of the school, sucking in a breath and wandering over to the school parking lot. Neil’s never been a big crier, so he doesn’t let his tears fall after Jessica breaks up with him. Doesn’t let them fall as he flops down on the grass median in the middle of the parking lot. Doesn’t shed a tear as he lays down, staring up through the oak tree’s yellowing leaves. He’s heaving, but not crying.

It’s not a surprise that Jessica doesn’t follow him outside. Knowing that even if she did he would just ignore her and keep walking away. He’s allowed to wallow in self-pity for about thirty minutes before students start pouring out of the school, the dance having ended. He knows that a lot of them are going to split off and go to all the after-parties that are no doubt being held by all the washed-up seniors grasping at the straws of their popularity. He sits up, watching them all get into their cars. 

He sees Jessica look around for him for a moment before getting in her car and leaving. He walks home alone, in the dark. He lets his parents know what happened, lies and says he’s getting a ride from a friend, and uses the time to think. Never, in his wildest dreams, did he see himself leaving Jessica before they graduated. He figured they’d do long distance while they were both away at college and the distance would make their hearts grow fonder and they’d get back together, stronger than ever. They’d get married. They’d have kids. They wouldn’t break-up during his senior homecoming. 

>>>>><<<<<

Come Monday, he doesn’t sit near Marcus during health class. Doesn’t look at him. Just saunters over to Shaun and drops down in the desk directly next to him. There’s about a foot of distance between them so he leans nearly all the way over in his chair, reaching his arm out to tap on Shaun’s shoulder.

Said sophomore turns his head. “Hello.”

“Hey Shaun,” he slumps down even farther in his chair. “Don’t ever get a girlfriend. They will rip out your heart and shove it in your face.” He sits up. “Fuck that’s not fair, forget I said that.”

“I don’t want a girlfriend.” Shaun says quietly. 

Neil doesn’t hear him. “How come you weren’t at homecoming?” Shaun just shrugs and tells Neil he doesn’t like crowds and music. “Sucks. Woulda been better if you were there.”

They don’t talk during class, which is normal for them. Morgan attempts to comment on Neil’s new seating arrangement, but he tells her to mind her own business. When the bell rings he grabs Shaun’s backpack for him and practically herds the boy out of the classroom into the hallway. He looks over his shoulder, checking to see that Marcus is trying to catch up with him. So, Neil could sit with him for lunch.

But he knows he can’t.

Can’t. He can’t sit with them. No way, no how. Jessica could have their friends, he really could only tolerate Marcus anyways, so who cares? He huffs and heads towards the cafeteria where he knows that Shaun and his friends eat. As per usual they’re all sitting around the circular table, with two new additions. Carly is sat on the table, next to Claire and occasionally stealing the other girl’s food. On the other side of her is Jared, who’s staring at the girl with brilliant hazel eyes just to the side of him. Neil sits next to Claire and sets Shaun’s stuff on the other side of him.

“Hey Neil, Shaun, you guys good?” He knows that the question is directed at him because Shaun’s face is naturally stoic, and he can feel the grimace on his. He nods, pulling out his packed lunch and setting it on the table.

“Who’s the new girl?” He asks Claire, changing the subject so she doesn’t press the issue.

She leans over to whisper to Neil. “Her name is Celez, she’s a freshman. Jared met her at homecoming.”

“Weren’t you his date to homecoming?”

She shrugs. “We were just going as friends. It’s not a big deal.” Neil thinks it’s a _very big deal_ to her but doesn’t mention that.

They all eat and talk about random things, Celez being asked a million questions as the newest addition to the group and returning the favor by asking many questions of her own. She asks Neil for his name and when he tells her she seems to recognize him from the football team. Carly asks her how she’s liking high school and the other girl just shrugs, explaining how her middle school was very boring. They didn’t even have a mascot. Jared can barely keep his hands off her the entire time.

Neil waits for the conversations to all pick up in volume when he tells Shaun what happened. He’s not sure what he’s expecting from his new friend. Maybe some sympathy? Maybe some, ‘it’s not your fault’. Shaun doesn’t say anything for a while though and Neil’s beginning to think that he shouldn’t have said anything. Shouldn’t have bothered Shaun with this. _But who else would’ve listened? You have no one but him now._ Then it happens. Shaun’s hand rests lightly on his shoulder, almost as if he’s afraid he’s going to break Neil if he presses any harder. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s not your fault Shaun.”

“Mr. Glassman says that’s what you say when someone tells you something that’s upset them. That you’re sorry.” Neil smiles. 

“Means a lot. Really. Thanks Shaun.” He places a hand on Shaun’s shoulder in return. Claire clears her throat, breaking the moment. They remove their hands simultaneously. The rest of the lunch is filled with more of the same, more Celez talking and Jared staring, more of Shaun eating quietly, more of Carly doing her best to get Claire’s attention. Neil wonders what Jessica is doing, what she’s thinking, who she’s talking to. Fiercely biting into his sandwich, he fumes.

Shaun must notice because there’s a light brush of fingers against his elbow. He looks over to see the boy not at all looking at him, but definitely doing his best to calm Neil down. Neil swallows, his stomach flipping and his chest tight. It was a new feeling, having someone try to help him feel better. So he takes it in stride. Let’s Shaun barely touch him in his own weird way of comforting. Let’s him touch him until the bell rings. And they’re forced apart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So they finally broke up! It had to happen sooner or later! And as we are officially 25% through the story, this is the end of Act 1. Close curtains, clean the stage, and prepare for Act 2 ladies and gentleman!


	6. The Trouble With Boys

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Boys are trouble. Neil is a lot of trouble. Shaun is just troubled.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It’s party time folks. PREPARE FOR THE ANGST. At least I think it’s angst. It might just be teenagers being teenagers, idk.

Halloween that year falls on a Friday. Which means the entire school is _freaking out_. Not because they’re all on the edge of their seats to go trick-or-treating until midnight. But because with Halloween falling on a weekend means that Audrey Lim will be throwing the _best_ party of the year so far. With her parents out of town she sent out a mass text message of the when (Halloween night, starting at eight), where (her home address), and what to bring (as many booze as you could carry). 

At first, Neil thinks that maybe he shouldn’t go. Jessica is probably going and he’s pretty sure that she’s going take all of her friends with her. It’s no secret that they all hate him now. Even if he wasn’t the one to break them off. But then he figures, what the hell. It’s his senior year too, he should be allowed to have fun. “Shaun.”

No answer. He leans closer. Repeats himself a few more times until the sophomore looks over to him. Neil’s always been good at reading people, so even with Shaun’s nearly blank expression he can tell that he’s a little annoyed. He smiles to lessen the blow, maybe to get Shaun to feel more comfortable, maybe so he can see Shaun smile back like always does. He’s not sure. “What are you doing tonight?”

“Nothing. Why, it tonight important?”

“Well, since you’re not doing anything, you should come to this party with me.” Neil says, ignoring the question with the all too obvious answer. “It’ll be fun.” Shaun looks down at his papers, then whispers that he doesn’t want to go because he hates crowds. Neil’s brows drew together. He hasn’t forgotten that fact about Shaun, not in the slightest, but he wants the younger boy to gain some confidence and overcome his fears. His autism shouldn’t hold him back, ever. From doing anything. “It won’t be like a regular party. Audrey makes most of the people stay outside so they don’t ruin her house, so no music plays indoors. And the only people that will be inside will be her, me, and you. Promise.”

Shaun looks at him, expression still blank. “I will ask.”

“Great! But you should probably tell Glassman you’re going to Jared’s house or something.”

“Why?”

“Because he’s the principal, Shaun. Plus, that’s just something you do, you lie to adults when you want to go to parties.”

“Why?”

“Because adults are boring and they don’t like to party. They like to go to galas and shit.” Shaun raises a brow. “You know what? Give me your phone, I’ll lie for you, so you don’t feel as bad.”

Shaun doesn’t move. “Mr. Glassman said not to use my phone during class.”

“Right, of course he did. Then we’ll do it at lunch. But I’m serious, Shaun. You’re coming to this party. You’re going to have fun. And you’re going to drink your first beer.”

>>>>><<<<<

He told Lea she could use the front door. She could knock on it whenever he was home, and he’d let her in, no worries. And if he didn’t let her in, then Glassman would, and he has no quarrel with her. In fact, Aaron had been very open to liking Lea, knowing that she was an amazing influence on him. But yet, she still decided that climbing through the window when she came over was best.

He stands nearby, just in case she falls, and she grumbles at him for not helping. “Okay, so lay all the deets on me.” Shaun tells her what Neil told him. The party would be at Audrey Lim’s house, there would be no adults at the party, there would be alcohol, and Neil was planning on driving him. “Okay, so you gotta get dressed in party clothes.”

“These are my party clothes.”

She looks at his dress shirt and black slacks. “Yeah, sure, they are. If you’re going to a party for eighty-year-olds. Move, I’m gonna rummage through your closet.”

She doesn’t let him help, just tells him to sit down and let her work her magic. Occasionally she’ll hold up clothes to herself, then to Shaun, then toss them back into the closet. Shaun’s hands shake, the urge to jump up and re-organize everything almost enough to get him to shove Lea out of the way. But he likes Lea and he doesn’t want to upset her, so he stays still. Although, the longer she spends in his closet he wonders if Lea, the girl who occasionally wears plaid with polka dots, is the best person to give him fashion advice. 

After a while she throws him a pair of black jeans he rarely wore and some socks. “I need a shirt.”

“I know, turn around.” He looks behind him. “Okay, you’re good.” When he turns back around Lea is in a shirt of his, her own black shirt in her hands. “It’s big on me so it should fit you pretty okay.” He takes it from her like it’s covered in a disease. Lea rolls her eyes. “Just put it on.” He does that, cringing as he feels the unfamiliar and used fabric touch his skin. “Oh yeah, you look hot.”

“I don’t want to look hot.”

“Yes, yes you do.” She leaves the room, so he can put on his pants and comes back to help him find a pair of shoes she approves of. Unfortunately, he only has two pairs. Flip-flops and his tennis shoes. She disproves of both. But her shoes are too small for Shaun, so they’re forced to settle. He looks at himself in the mirror. 

The t-shirt that Lea was wearing, and now he is wearing, has a drawing of a woman in a gladiator type dress. She’s holding a sword and over her head in a font that can only be described as _the 80’s_ it says SHE-RA and below her it reads, PRINCESS OF POWER. He doesn’t think the shirt fits his personality very well. Lea looks pleased though. So, he doesn’t complain. His jeans are too tight, they’re constricting some of his movement. That was part of the reason why they had been shoved to the back of his closet, where he would never accidentally put them on. But here he was.

“I would offer to put eyeliner on you, but I think you would kill me.” He agrees, he doesn’t trust Lea near his eye with anything remotely sharp. “What time did you say he was picking you up?”

“Eight-thirty. He said the party starts sooner than that, but we needed to be late. He didn’t explain why.”

“I think that’s for the best, the concept of being late to a party is hard to grasp even for me.”

Shaun’s bedroom door opens and they both look up to see Aaron Glassman halfway through starting a word. He glances around the pigsty this is currently Shaun’s room. “This is...unusual. Your room is typically immaculate.”

“Hi Mr. Glassman.”

“Hi Lea.”

“It is unusual. Lea was dressing me up.”

“Dressing you up? Why? Aren’t you supposed to go to Jared’s tonight.”

Shaun looks around, avoiding eye contact. He’s never been very good at lying. 

Lea jumps into save him. “He is! I just wanted to use him as my doll for a few hours. Checking out how I might look in these clothes.” She looks to Shaun. “I think I’d look really good. Don’t you agree Mr. Glassman?”

Aaron blinks, and tilts his head in thought. “That’s a bit of an eggshell kind of topic Lea. I think I’ll pass on giving my opinion.”

“Suit yourself. Shaun does make a great model though. Nice and tall, skinny.” She wants to pat his face but doesn’t and just leans into him. “Real cute face. Were you a Gerber baby?”

Glassman leaves sometime during the conversation of Shaun’s potential offspring being just as cute as him, leaving the two teens alone once again. “If he figures out where you’re going tonight, what would happen?” He doesn’t answer. “Would you be grounded?” Silence. “Talk to me.”

“If Mr. Glassman finds out where I’m going tonight he will be very upset and hurt. I will do my best to make sure that doesn’t happen.”

“You don’t have to go, you know, if you don’t want to. I know you like...I know that this Neil guy is your friend, but you shouldn’t ever do something to make someone else happy if it makes you miserable.”

He shakes his head vigorously. “No, I want to go, I want to. Neil said he wanted me to go and I want to go. I want to go.”

“Okay, okay. You want to go. I just...I needed to make sure.” She heads for his door. “Let’s eat some snacks before you leave, I’m hungry.”

“You always eat my food.”

“I do always eat your food.” She nods. “Got a problem with that?”

He decides he doesn’t when she raises her brows at him.

>>>>><<<<<

As soon as Shaun slumps into his car, he turns the music off. Shaun is glad and gives him a thankful smile. “Woah, you look good. I’m digging this.” Shaun pulls at his shirt.

“Lea gave it to me.”

“Lea?” 

“My neighbor. She eats my food and steals my chargers.”

Neil chuckles. “She sounds...spicy.”

“I wouldn’t know, I haven’t tasted her.”

Neil sputters, brain short-circuiting for just a moment. “That’s not what I meant. I meant her personality, she seems,” he waves his hand around, looking for the word. “Unique.”

Humming, Shaun nods. “Yes, she is very unique. Just like you.”

They drive to the sound of Neil’s voice. He tells Shaun everything he can about Audrey, doing his best to properly prepare his friend for the situation he would be diving head first into. Part of him knows he probably shouldn’t have convinced Shaun into coming to the party, but he really didn’t know if he could face his peers in a social setting without someone else there. 

And he trusts Shaun. He respects him.

“Who all will be there?”

“A lot of people, but they’ll all be in the backyard, away from you.” _Away from us_. “Sounded like Jared and Celez got invited. I don’t think Claire did, but I doubt she’s much of a party girl anyways.”

“I don’t like parties.”

He nods. “I know. That’s why my goal tonight is to make you enjoy yourself as much as possible.”

“That’s.” Shaun swallows. “Very nice of you Neil.”

The other laughs, shrugging. “What can I say? I’m a nice guy. Oh, here’s the house. Pretty big right? Both of Audrey’s parents are surgeons.”

The house isn’t really a house, not by Shaun’s standards. His childhood home was very small for four people, and while his home with Mr. Glassman wasn’t small by any means, it paled in comparison to the Lim household. It was practically a villa. The doorway was large, big enough to fit a couch without having to maneuver it like you’re trying to put a cube in a circular shaped hole. And it was deep red. Neil parked on the street across the way. The music could be heard from there and Shaun’s breathing got rapid.

“Hey, it’s okay, I promise, it’ll be a lot quieter inside.” Shaun looks at him with wide eyes, deer in headlights look. Neil sets his hand on Shaun’s thigh. “Come on, let’s go.” He gets out of the car and walks over to Shaun’s side. He opens the door for him. Carefully, like the floor might be lava, Shaun gets out of Neil’s Subaru. 

The senior slings his arm over Shaun’s shoulder, careful not to put too much pressure on the other boy and walks him towards the house. There are a few cars just outside the house, but Shaun’s pretty sure that most people just walked. Neil did say that there would be alcohol. He also said that he’d be drinking. _Maybe I shouldn’t have come, maybe Neil is going do something mean. Something bad. I shouldn’t be here._

Neil’s hand pats softly on his shoulder, still wrapped around him. “It’s okay.” He whispers.

The large red blood door swings open. Audrey Lim’s whole face lights up. “Neil! You came!” Neil lets go of Shaun to hug Audrey, laughing as she pulls him inside. Shaun waits on the doorstep. “Who’s the kid?”

“Shaun, come inside,” he motions with his head. “He’s a friend, a sophomore. He’s cool.”

She looks at Shaun, dissecting him with her eyes. “Okay, as long as he’s not like, a knark. Your whisky is in the kitchen.”

Neil rubs his hands together. “Gimmie, gimmie. I could use the buzz. Come on Shaun.”

They sit in the kitchen, at the breakfast nook, just the two of them. Audrey had attempted to hang with them for a while, absolutely enamored with Shaun, but people kept coming in from the backyard and whining that she wasn’t out there with them. Neil laughs at sips at his glass of liquor, waving her farewell.

Shaun knows why Neil’s drinking. He’s not stranger to people using alcohol to cover up their feelings. Or to bring them out. He does some math and determines that, as long as Neil isn’t a constant drinker, that around his fourth glass he’d be buzzed. And by his seventh he’d be drunk. But Neil doesn’t get past his third. “I hate alcohol.” Neil says.

“Then why are you drinking it?”

“Why does anyone drink it? To feel better.” He rubs his temples. “This Jessica thing is really getting to me…”

Shaun doesn’t hug people. He hugged Steve and he remembers his mother hugging him without him pulling away. But sitting in that kitchen, with Neil, who was practically spilling his heart out to him, he wanted to hug him. Wanted to comfort Neil because Neil _always_ tried to comfort him. He doesn’t get the chance.

>>>>><<<<<

Audrey’s dancing with the guy who brought all the alcohol. He’s twenty-two and kind of an asshole, but he was reliable when it came to booze. There was no reason to piss him off. He leans down to her, attempting to flirt, maybe get some action, but she leans away. “Wanna get something more to drink?” She tries, smiling at him. He nods.

They open the sliding glass door to her house and stumble inside. The guy ‘oo’s at the sight of Neil and Shaun, swaying over to them. “What’s this little private party going on in here? Huh?” His breath wreaks.

“Uh, this is Kenny, guys. Sorry, totally forgot you were in here.”

Neil spares at glance at Shaun. “It’s...It’s okay Audrey.”

Kenny fumbles around to stand behind Shaun, leaning down and resting on the boy’s back, talking right into his face with hot searing breath. “What’re you two lovebirds talking about?”

Shaun jumps to his feet, covering his face. Neil follows suit, moving to stand between them. “You’re drunk.” It’s stupid to say, but he figures that might sober him up a little.

“So?” He groans. “Oh god these kids are ruining my buzz, more booze.”

Audrey, eager to remove Kenny from the kitchen and shove him in a closet somewhere where Neil won’t have to be around him, grabs him by his arm and leads him away. “Yeah, yeah, this way, follow me.”

Shaun’s still cowering. Neil places his hands over his ears. It worked last time, maybe it’ll work this time too. “I shouldn’t have made you come. I’m sorry.”

They sit in silence for a few minutes, then Shaun pulls away from Neil’s touch. “I wanted to come. You only gave me a ride.”

Neil smiles. “You don’t have to make me feel less guilty.”

“Okay.” He looks away. “Then yes, you shouldn’t have made me come. I don’t like it here, it smells weird and your breath stinks.”

“Thanks. For telling me the truth.”

>>>>><<<<<

Neil is showing Shaun how to shotgun a beer, using a soda in replacement, when all hell breaks loose. A few of the drunk kids had climbed over the fence and started fucking around in the front yard only to start screaming a few minutes later. They break through the front door, red in the face, completely horrified at the word they’re all about to utter.

“POLICE!”

And people start scattering. Most just jump the back fence, but the few that drove barreled through Audrey’s house, making a break for their cars. Neil’s heart stops and he looks to Shaun who’s covering his ears and looking very confused.

“We have to go,” he stands, softly pushing Shaun towards the door.

They’re one of the last ones outside, Neil can already see the red and blue lights flashing, and he just hopes they’ll be able to make it to his car without getting caught. The path finally clears, and they make it outside. And they make it to the middle of the yard. And they don’t make it any farther. They don’t move because Shaun is struck still, just staring at the two cop cars. Still. Not. Moving.

Neil grabs his arm, Shaun rips it away. “Shaun, we have to _go_! Do you understand that? We have to go _right now_ or we’re going to get arrested and I have alcohol on my breath.”

Shaun doesn’t say anything. Doesn’t move. _I can’t just leave him._ He tries once more. It doesn’t work. So, Neil sits on the cold, scratchy grass. He sits with his knees pulled up and his arms resting limp. He stares into the grass, wondering what’s going to happen. If they do arrest them, or at least him, he’s going to lose a lot. His ability to wrestle for the rest of the season. His college acceptance letter. Everything. But he can’t leave Shaun to whatever it is that he’s dealing with.

The cops get out of their cars and approach them first. One looks at Shaun, the at Neil. “You two been drinking tonight?” Neil says that Shaun hasn’t. The office reaches for Shaun and Shaun _screeches, fucking screeches_ and jumps back.

“He’s not big on touching.”

>>>>><<<<<

At some point, the cops get them both in the back of a cruiser. They’re not handcuffed. But they are locked inside. The cops must decide that they’re not going to ‘take them downtown’ because they find Shaun’s phone and call the only number marked with In Case of Emergency. They’re nice enough to drive them back to Shaun’s house, leaving Neil’s car behind. Glassman must’ve said something over the phone too, because as soon as they hang up the flashers turn off. And Shaun relaxes a bit.

“You’re not going to get in any trouble,” says the officer that’s driving, looking the mirror at Neil. “But you should really rethink your choices.”

“I know.”

Glassman is standing in the driveway as soon as they arrive. He’s dressed in his pajamas, fuming. They exit the vehicle, the cop holding the door open for them. Glassman towers over Shaun in a way he’s never seen anyone do, making the boy shrink. “I’m very disappointed in you. You lied to me, you went to a party with drugs and alcohol, and you were arrested. Go to your room. Take off those god forsaken clothes.” Shaun doesn’t argue. Doesn’t look at Neil. “And you,” Glassman points accusingly at Neil. “You’re lucky I don’t tell your parents about this. You’ve been drinking so I can’t let you drive home and I doubt you’d appreciate showing up home in a police cruiser. We have a guest bedroom you can use.”

“Thanks, Mr. Glassman.”

“But,” his jaw sets. “You are not allowed to hang out with Shaun anymore.”

“With all due respect, that’s bullshit.”

“I am his guardian. You clearly are a bad influence if you got Shaun to lie to me. After tonight you won’t speak to him ever again unless it’s in an educational capacity. Do you understand me?” Neil goes to argue, but Glassman just raises his brows. He nods. He understands. Doesn’t mean he’s going to listen to him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This will be the longest chapter, most likely, and I made it long because I just needed to tell this whole section in one go, and when I tried to break it up into multiple parts it felt weird. I hope you enjoyed this, it’s a pretty important step in their relationship. Plus, Kenny is here now. Also Audrey Lim who I love. As always, see you in the next chapter.


	7. Girls/Girls/Boys

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jared has a good thanksgiving. Carly has a GREAT thanksgiving.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter can be skipped if you’re not interested in any of the background characters. Shaun and Neil aren’t in this chapter and it’s just all about our two background ships.
> 
> Also; thank you all for your kind words and reviews! I'm so glad that people really like this story.

With his driver finally pulling up the family BMW to the front of Celez’s house, a wave of sobriety crashes into him. Thanksgiving break had only started a few hours ago, but Jared couldn’t sit still in his room any longer. He and Celez had started off on the wrong foot, quite literally, when he knocked her onto her ass in front of their whole English class. Then, as the weeks went on, they learned to tolerate each other. With Jared constantly offering to help her with projects and her generally shutting him down because, _what do you think I’m not smart enough to do this on my own?_ , a friendship of strange happenings began. They spent so much time at each other’s throats that before they knew it they couldn’t _not_ be around each other. Jared invited her to lunch every day, he sat next to her in class, tried to make her laugh, flirted to his heart’s content.

And now he’s sitting outside her house at five o’clock on a Friday. God, he hopes she’s not eating dinner already. What a first impression to make, _hello Celez, hate to bother you during your family dinner, but want to make out?_

“Are we at the wrong place, Mr. Jared?” His driver looks over the seat at him. Jared waves him off, telling him to stay put, and continues to stare at the house. He’s got too much to think about to just waltz up to the door. He has to have a plan first. Taking out his phone he sends Celez a quick text, asking if she was home.

_yea! y?_

There’s his green light. The big sign telling him to suck it up and GO. “I’ll be right back.” He jumps out of the car, striding across the street, long legs getting him from sidewalk to sidewalk in just a matter of moments. He knocks on the white wooden door, holding the glass door open at his side. Celez looks surprised to see him, but not angry. He lets his eyes wander over the same clothes he had seen were wear at school that day. Shirt donning a cartoon pilgrim and behind him an alien. He remembers when he first saw her that day, asking about her shirt with a laugh. She had giggled and explained that her parents were big fans of Ancient Aliens and she was a big fan of Ancient Aliens memes. “Celez. Hey.”

“Uh, hey Jared, what are you doing here?” She looks over his shoulder, as if she might find his reason for appearing at her door at such a time.

“I wanted to see you. Can I come in?”

She nods, moving out of the way to allow him past. He removes his shoes and wiggles his socked toes in her house. It smells like any other friend’s house he’s been too, weird. A little musky. But when he turns to Celez he can smell her perfume again and he doesn’t mind the musk. “I wanted to ask you something.” He says, walking further into her house. There are pictures of her family on the walls, a few knick-knacks hanging up. It’s very homey. He wishes his parents would decorate like hers did, but he knew that was a pipedream.

Celez grabs his hand and squeezes. “Okay, go ahead.” The look in her eyes says that she can already tell what’s coming next.

He squeezes back. There’s a right way to do this and a wrong way. Jared had prepared to do everything the right way. To be polite, sweet, and charismatic. To not lose his cool and go overboard. But it’s Jared. And he always does things the wrong way. So, he cups her chin and pulls their mouths together. She takes a few seconds to catch up and closes her eyes, moving her mouth against his. When they pull away, he keeps his eyes closed. “Is that a yes?”

She lightly pushes him away. “You’re a goof. If it was a no, I probably would’ve hit you.”

“Good. Let’s hang out this week.”

“I have family stuff Wednesday through Friday, but before that,” she bites her lip. “I’m free.”

He beamed at her, leaning in and kissing her chaste on the mouth. She chases after him as he pulls away. “I’ll pick you up on Monday.” Fingers slide against one another as he heads for the exit. She waits by the door, leaning against the wood, and watches him walk back to the car that dropped him off. He rolls down his window as his driver pulls away. “Parting is such sweet sorrow!”

She blushes and looks down at her feet, finishing the quote, “That I shall say goodnight till it be the morrow.”

>>>>><<<<<

Claire’s bedroom smelt like linen, her dark purple sheets plain and clean. Carly ran her hand against them, testing the waters before taking a seat. Claire was down in the kitchen, preparing them some ‘study snacks’ and had allowed Carly to make herself at home while she waited. Along the walls were pictures of Claire and a few of her friends. She recognized the picture of the girl with Jared, both smiling at what looked like a football game. A few pictures over was one of their whole group, including Morgan and Shaun, sitting at a lunch table. Everyone but Claire was oblivious to the picture being taken. Carly smiled, lightly touching each picture as she scanned the other girl’s room.

Her own room was rather plain in comparison. White walls, a desk, blue sheets, and poster for a TV Show she liked. Nothing more. It was rather nice to be in a place that felt so lived in.

Claire came back upstairs a few minutes later, a bowl of potato chips and two Kapri Suns in her hands. “Claire, coming in hot with the healthy snacks.” Carly said, approaching the other.

“Shut up,” Claire said with a smile, setting the bowl down on her desk and the drinks right next to it. “If you don’t want them then I’ll gladly eat it all by myself.”

Carly shook her head. “No, no you misunderstand me.” She reached into the bowl, staring at Claire as she took a bite of one of the chips. “This is great, A plus, really.” Claire is struck still for just a moment before she giggles, brushes her hair back, and walks away from Carly. 

They sit on the bed, Claire’s bio book open in front of them. Carly spread out the pages of Claire’s project next to the book, reading over each neatly written one, checking for spelling errors. And occasionally pointing out scientific errors to Claire. “You really didn’t have to help me do this.” Claire said, fixing her third fallacy in her thesis. 

“No, I think I _really_ did. Morgan is going to bully her parents into helping her, Jared is probably going to pay some senior to do his, and Shaun is, well Shaun. Plus, this stuff is interesting to me. Like this; if all other variables were to remain constant, which of the following best predicts or explains the expected difference as hemoglobin passes through the leg of a man that is sprinting?” 

Peaking over Carly’s shoulder Claire considered her options. “Um, D, ‘hemoglobin will have an increased affinity for O2’.”

“You’re lucky you’re pretty. It’s actually C, ‘hemoglobin will steadily release O2 to the surrounding cells.”

Claire reread all the options and the question. “How did you know that?”

“Because unlike you I study,” Claire scrunched up her face, insulted. “And I like this sort of stuff. I wish it was a little more hands on, but what can you do? There’s only so much stuff a high school will allow a dangerous sixteen-year-old to get their hands on.”

“Is this the kind of stuff you wanna do? Research and stuff?”

“Yeah, I mean, I don’t know. I still have a lot of stuff to figure out. Last year I wanted to be a singer. Then my brother told me I sound like a rat. So I think that dream is done.” Claire chuckles, it makes Carly beam with pride. “But lab and research stuff are kinda at the forefront of my plans at the moment. What about you?”

“I’ve thought about a lot of different stuff too. I think I’d like being a teacher maybe. But, if I’m being honest, I’d love to be a doctor.” Carly tilted her head. She could imagine Claire being a doctor, as headstrong as she is. “But that all depends on how hard I work.” Claire bit her bottom lip and looked to the door. “I won’t have a lot of help from home.”

Claire has never really talked about her family, and Carly is okay with that. From what it looked like, the rest of her house wasn’t as well put together as her room. Carly figured there was something wrong, but didn’t want to ask, in lieu of upsetting the pretty brunette. She just hoped that if things ever got really bad, Claire would confide in her. 

They work in symbiosis, bouncing ideas off of each other, finishing each other’s sentences. Claire is surprised and impressed when they make it through more than half of the project before six. She stretches as she gets up off the bed, yawning. “C’mon you, time for you to mosey on back where you came from.”

“Mosey?”

“Get up,” she groans, tugging Carly to her feet to out her bedroom door. “My mom will be home soon, and I’m not allowed to have friends over.” They bound down the stairs, Carly keeping her eyes trained on the floor. Avoiding contact with any of the old takeout containers and boxes of condoms. Claire practically throws Carly out the door, standing to block her view of her living room.

Separated by only the threshold, the two girls say goodbye, Carly taking a deep breath. “This was really nice. Let’s do it again sometime?”

Claire repeated her action from earlier, tucking more hair behind her ear. “Yeah, yeah, lets.”

She walks home, smiling at her feet the entire time. Things were good. Things were better than they had ever been.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter should be out in a few days since this one had nothing to do with our main characters. I was thinking about putting them out on the same day, but the eight chapter is kinda long, so it’ll have to wait.


	8. So Big / So Small

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bobby has good advice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OKAY, get ready for a rant. I re-watched the episode Sacrifice to get Bobby’s character down and HOLY SHIT I totally forgot how cringy they made him. He’s supposed to be a pro-gamer and he says shit like, ‘brah’, ‘let’s knock it out’, and just, fucking ew. So I rewrote him to fit what I know to be a pro-gamer’s personality to be like (mostly based off of certain twitch streamers that are similar to him) and I think it will play better than the cringe fest they made Bobby on the show.

Shaun meets Bobby Ato on a chilly Tuesday. He’s in the library, in the corner, on one of the computers. Shaun can see over his monitor that he’s not doing school work. And that is just, unacceptable. He stands, heading over to stand next to Bobby. A few minutes go by before Bobby sees him and he jumps, a smile on his face, and takes off the headphones resting over his ears. “Hey, what’s up? Do I know you?”

Bobby’s black hair is short to his head but sticking up all over where it’s long enough to do so. His face is neutral, more focused on the game than his surrounding, and his hands are curved over the keyboard and mouse. A closer look would identify them both as not the school’s and instead gear that Bobby had brought from home.

“You are not allowed to use the library computers for video games.”

Bobby looks at his screen, smile growing wider. “Well, unless you rat on me, I think we cool.” He gestures between the two of them. Shaun is silent as Bobby returns to smashing the keys and furiously clicking the right mouse button. 

“You are not allowed to use the lib-,”

“Got it. But I’m about to wreck these little bitchie-bitches so can you give me a hot second?” Shaun waits. He waits and watches as Bobby’s hand flicks around on the illuminated blue mouse and his fingers dance across the WASD keys. When the word VICTORY rolls across the screen in gold flaming letters, Bobby turns back around. “Aight, done. Speak and you shall be heard!”

Shaun is looking at the screen still, watching the bright colors and moving characters with fascination. The game finally closes out and all Shaun can see is a menu screen. Bobby is waving his hand in front of his face. Shaun snaps out of it. “Why are you using the school computers to play video games?”

“Because my house is too far away.”

Shaun thinks that’s a reasonable answer, in some respects. He’ll let it go this time around. “Is it fun?”

Bobby smirks. “Yeah, hella fun. You wanna try?”

“No thank you, I’d prefer to watch.”

“So…you gonna let me keep playing?” Bobby’s inflection on the last word makes Shaun cringe.

“Yes.”

He watches Bobby play until the bell rings, signifying the end of Shaun’s off-hour. He hadn’t realized he’d wasted so much time watching the other student play. He was supposed to be studying for his final in health class. “I have to go. Goodbye.” He slings his backpack over his shoulder and heads for the doorway of the library.

“Wait! What’s your name?” Ato turns halfway around in his chair, next game in queue. 

“Shaun Murphy. I have a class to get to.” He stops for a moment to turn back to Bobby. 

Bobby grins. “I’m Bobby…Ato. I also have a class to get to,” he points at the computer screen. “But as you can see I’ve got much more important matters to attend to.”

“Okay, nice to meet you Bobby Ato.”

While he leaves, Bobby enters another game, slipping his headphones back on, and tuning back into his own little world. 

He’s late to health class, which isn’t entirely unusual, Shaun Murphy being late. Although most of the time he’s late to his first hour, not his midday classes. He takes his seat, next to Neil and behind Morgan. The thick packet tests are already out on their desks, face down, and beside the purple answer-sheet. Mr. Jones is waiting for them all to settle before telling them they can start. Neil doesn’t look at Shaun. Shaun doesn’t look at him either.

They hadn’t talked since the night of the party. Neil had, so far, followed Glassman’s new rule. The same rule Shaun hadn’t heard about. But every time he attempted to approach Neil, he got anxious and he started to sweat and the last thing he needed was for Neil to laugh at his copious amounts of perspiration. “You may start.”

The test is mostly multiple choice, with three short answers at the end. Shaun doesn’t understand why the teacher gave them the whole hour to complete it. It’s easy enough for him to get the multiple choice done in a few minutes and the short answers done only minutes after. And the only reason the short answers took so long was because he had to write out what he was thinking.  
Neil is still working on the first quarter of the test when Shaun stands, walking to the front of the class and hands in his test. 

Mr. Jones looks appalled and makes a noise of disdain, causing some of class looks up from their papers. “You’re done?” He asks, flipping through the pages of Shaun’s test to make sure he answered every question. “What, did you just, go through it and randomly answer every question?”

“No, I answered them correctly. Your test was very easy.”

“It’s not just any test,” he looks at the name on the top of the paper. “Mr. Shaun Murphy. It’s your final. Take it a little more seriously.”

He practically throws the test back to Shaun, who doesn’t take it. The packet falls to the desk. “I took it very seriously. I answered all the questions to the best of my ability and I believe that I did very well.”

“Oh, do you?” He grabs the test once more and pulls out the answer key from one of his desk drawers. Most of the class went back to their own papers, but Neil and Morgan are still glued to them, all eager to see what would happen next. Neil holds his breath while Mr. Jones quickly grades Shaun’s multiple choice, then reads his short answers. He doesn’t look up for a few seconds. “To the best of your ability,” the teacher repeats. “You did very well, you can leave.”

He hands him back his test, a ‘100/100’ written in red thin tipped marker right at the top. Shaun smiles, taking the test and holding it near him and then quickly shoving it into his backpack as he leaves. The teacher inputs the score, grumbling to himself. Neil watches Shaun leave. He still doesn’t say anything.

Morgan finishes second, then Neil, and then he doesn’t know who finishes next because he’s racing out the door, cellphone in hand.

_lunch?_

He swallows, waiting for the reply. 

_Okay._

>>>>><<<<<

It’s getting colder, not cold enough to warrant a jacket, but colder. Neil waits out by his car, tapping his heel on his tires. He can see Shaun walking towards him from the school, a smile on his face as he looks to the sky. The sun is out. Bright, illuminating his skin. Neil swallows. He really shouldn’t be here. “How’s your day been?” Shaun doesn’t answer, just waits for Neil to open his car door. “How was your break?” Still no answer. Is this Shaun being upset? “We haven’t talked since party.”

“That’s because I am mad at you.” Neil smiles at the way he says it, but only for a second, before turning serious again. He drives out of the parking lot as Shaun continues. “This is the second time. Second time you’ve made me mad at you.” Shaun crosses his arms. “You buying me lunch is a good way to make me not mad at you.”

“Then I’m glad I asked you out.” 

Shaun rolls down his window. “I don’t like drinking.” Neil agrees, remembering the boisterous guy at Audrey’s party who had interrupted their talk. “It makes me very nervous. My dad used to drink a lot when I was a kid and he was very mean.” 

“Shit, Shaun, I’m sorry, I didn’t know.”

“You didn’t know. It’s okay.” Neil makes the decision right there and then to never touch another sip of alcohol as long as he knows Shaun. “I had fun.” Neil raises a brow. “At the party. It was fun. Before the police cars showed up. I don’t like police cars.”

Neil smirks. “What else don’t you like?” Shaun tells him. Neil’s a little surprised that he’s so blunt, especially when he was responding to a joke of all things, but he takes it in stride. Shaun Murphy doesn’t like alcohol, police cars, pickles, loud noises, and least of, people treating him like he’s a child. He thinks that last one is more of a current thing but doesn’t comment on it. Shaun seems to prefer to give information when he pleases rather than be interrogated for it when someone wants it.

“What are you doing for winter break?” Shaun asks. 

Neil shrugs. “My family normally doesn’t do anything. We’re pretty religious so we celebrate Christmas of course, but that’s an ordeal in itself. Lots of church, lots of family members. What are you doing?”

“Mr. Glassman says that he wants to buy a Christmas tree.”

“You don’t?”

“They make big messes and could fall on someone.”

Neil nods. “Those are some good points Shaun Murphy.”

“Thank you, Neil Melendez.” There’s only a few moments of comfortable silence. “I would like to know what your family is like.”

“Um, maybe not when I’m driving. You can come over and hang out one day, you can meet them all.”

Shaun nods, playing with his window nervously. “I would like that.”

“Me too.”

>>>>><<<<<

The mouse feels foreign under his hand. Not because he’s never used one before, but because he’s using it for a whole new purpose. Bobby is on his right, pointing and telling him what to do next. “Pick that girl, her name is Mercy, her playstyle fits you.” Shaun clicks on the character that Bobby points out to him, flinching a little when an animated girl pops up on screen, wings unfurling. “Just left click to heal, shift to fly, and right click to damage boost. Don’t worry about your ‘e’, that’s advanced Mercy strat.”

Shaun has no clue what he’s saying, but nods anyways. Bobby’s bouncing with excitement next to him as he plays, occasionally shouting when Shaun does something exceptionally well, and when the game is over, and the red text displays the word DEFEAT across the screen, Bobby blames Shaun’s team. “You carried them my dude! You couldn’t have done anything more.” And surprisingly enough, Shaun allows Bobby to high-five him and pat him on the back.

They switch seats, so Bobby can play instead, and Shaun tells him he prefers this seat, where he doesn’t have to do anything. Bobby smiles, tells him that he will change Shaun’s mind about that.

“How do I get someone to do what I want?” Shaun interjects as Bobby types a rage filled comment into the game’s match chat.

Bobby looks away from his game, raising his brow at Shaun. “What makes you think I know that, dude?”

Shaun rocks a little. “Because you have good advice.”

“Thanks man!” He laughs. “I think you’re the only one that thinks that though.” He swivels the mouse around the mousepad for a few seconds, concentrating so he doesn’t die in game. “Okay, advice…well whenever I want my mom to do something for me, I compliment her.” He laughs. “She’s a sucker for compliments. Most people are.”

Shaun pulls out a notebook, writing that down. Bobby stifles his laughter. “Okay. I will do that.”

“And if that doesn’t work guilt tripping is _always_ an option. You’ve got the whole baby face thing going for you, so I doubt anyone can say no to you if you pull out the puppy dog eyes.”

“I will resort to that if need be.” He scribbles down another note.

“Cool, tell me how that works out! Now watch this, I’m gonna get a 5-k with this pulse bomb.”

>>>>><<<<<

The last day of school before winter break starts makes them all nervous wrecks. Besides Shaun. They’re all sitting at their usual lunch table, studying for their last few finals, when Neil drops his head on the table. He groans loudly, causing a few of them to laugh. Shaun pats his back with a stiff hand. “Your classes are very easy, you should be fine.”

Neil rolls his eyes, keeping his head on the table. “They’re easy for you, genius. I actually have to work to get good grades.”

“I work…” Shaun mumbles.

Neil sighs. “Yeah, you work, everything just comes easy to you. I envy you Shaun Murphy.” They all hum in agreement. 

Except Morgan. Who just scoffs. “Yeah, you envy the kid with autism. Congrats Neil, you’re the only one who feels that way.”

Jared glares at her. “There’s nothing wrong with having autism.”

She nods sarcastically. “Of course not. He’ll just eventually have a breakdown and the rest of you will have to pick up the pieces. Sounds like a real blast.” She checked her phone for the time. “I’ve gotta bail, have fun fawning over the retard.” Claire’s about to say something, but Neil beats her to it.

“I really hope, for your sake, when all your shit flies back and hits you in the face, that someone will be there to help you. Because I sure as hell won’t.” She sets her jaw, throwing her backpack over her shoulder with a huff and stomping off.

They all watch her go, Celez and Carly looking uncomfortable. The rest looking peeved. “Does Morgan not like me?” Shaun asks.

Neil can’t help but sigh. He really does envy Shaun. Envies his ability to not let anything get to him. “I think she’s just jealous that we give you so much attention.” Shaun looks confused. “And because you’re so cute,” he says teasingly, attempting to pinch Shaun’s cheeks. The other boy leans away, pushing Neil’s hands away from him.

Claire smiles into her hand, noticing the way Shaun turns pink, but not mentioning it to anyone else. She wonders if Neil notices. Or if he’s still too oblivious. 

They study for a little bit longer, silence overfalling them. Then Shaun looks up, waves his hand in front of Neil to get his attention, then says, “Neil you have very beautiful hair.”

The whole table stops what they’re doing to look up at the two. “Uh, thanks Shaun?”

“You said I could meet your family and I would like to so tonight.”

“Okay…I’m confused what my hair has to do with this.”

Shaun does his best impression of baby animal trying to get some scraps. “What time will you be picking me up?” Neil is still reeling a bit but tells him he can come over right after school and have dinner with his family. Shaun agrees, pulling out his phone to text Glassman. Neil looks uncomfortable as he watches Shaun text over his shoulder, but keeps his mouth shut about it.

The conversation ends there. But Neil can’t get back to working, too busy watching Shaun like the boy might suddenly open up and give him all the answers he’s looking for. 

>>>>><<<<<

Neil had started sitting next to Shaun and Claire in psych at the same time Jessica broke up with him. Mostly because of the break-up, but also because for as smart as Shaun is, he’s inordinately easy to cheat off of. Which makes him not having studied for his psych final not that big of a deal. Except when Claire sees him cheating and glares. He sticks his tongue out at her, peaking over Shaun’s arm one more time to get his last few answers. He has to quickly scribble each one down, Shaun a notoriously fast test taker, before the sophomore flips his test and looks up. Neil avoids his eyes, pretending like he was totally _not_ looking at Shaun’s paper.

He finishes a few minutes before the school day ends, and when the bell rings he turns in his, Shaun’s, and Claire’s test into Mr. Novak. “Have a good break!” Their teacher says as the students file out of the classroom. Neil saddles up next to Shaun, placing his hand on the boy’s backpack as they walk. Shaun doesn’t seem to mind.

“I’m honestly surprised that Glassman gave you the okay when you asked to come over.”

Shaun shrugged. “I didn’t ask him, I told him.”

“Geeze, I bet that went over well.”

“Actually Mr. Glassman was very upset with me.” Neil nods, not feeling inclined to point out his sarcasm. 

They make it Neil’s car seconds before the rush of student vehicles begin to pour out of the parking lot. 

It’s a short drive back to Neil’s house, making the silence in the car unnoticed. 

He doesn’t expect Shaun meeting his family to go so well. He’s not expecting his parents to hate Shaun, no one could _hate_ Shaun, but he doesn’t expect them to embrace him like a son either. They’re all smiley and asking Shaun personal questions, much like they did to Jessica when they first met her. 

Neil’s mother has his father set the table for dinner, telling Neil and Shaun to go wash their hands. 

Hot water rushes over his fingers, sweeping away the soap into the drain. Shaun is standing behind him, just outside the upstairs bathroom, waiting his turn. Neil looks up and into the mirror, following Shaun’s gaze to the slightly opened bedroom door. There’s some yellow light leaking out of the bedroom. He doesn’t say anything as Shaun takes a few timid steps towards the door. Doesn’t say a word when he pushes the door open far enough to glance inside, bathing Shaun in a warm light. 

He walks up besides the younger boy, lightly pushing the door open far enough so the two of them could stand in the threshold together. His hands are still a little damp, cooling in the air-conditioned room. “She fell from a tree a few years ago. Irreparable brain damage.” Shaun watches him, face blank, as he closes the door all the way, pushing them both out into the hallway once again. “Wash your hands,” he says solemnly. “Ma’s probably already got dinner on the table.”

>>>>><<<<<

Darkness engulfs Shaun’s home street, the nearest streetlamp having broken a few weeks ago, so Neil walks Shaun to his front door. Telling himself that he just can’t let Shaun walk around in the dark. It has nothing to do with the light feeling in his stomach. 

Shaun unlocks the door, holding onto the handle as he speaks to Neil. “Thank you. I had a very nice night.”

“Me too. And you’re welcome over anytime, my parents seem to like you already.” He laughs. “Not that that’s hard.” Shaun looks away, twisting the handle. Neil turns to leave. He stops. “If you want to hang out during break, just text me, okay? My family doesn’t go anywhere, and I’ll be free for most of the next two weeks.”

“Okay.”

“Cool. See you Shaun!” He says, waving over his shoulder. Shaun waves back, small and timid, slipping inside with a face splitting grin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oooooo with this chapter this is officially the longest story I have posted on my AO3 account, v exciting.
> 
> Next chapter should be out in a week or so, it's gonna be Christmas themed so put away your sunglasses and sandals and get out your tinsel because it's the holidays folks!


	9. Blue Christmas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shaun enjoys his Christmas with Lea and Glassman. And he enjoys his New Years with Neil.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I DON’T THINK YOU’RE READY FOR THIS CHAPTER, I’M NOT EVEN READY FOR THIS CHAPTER. AND ITS NOT EVEN THAT LONG. I’M JUST NOT READY FOR IT.

Christmas day brings with it Lea from next door, her smile big and her nose pinked by the slightly colder than average weather outside. She hugs Glassman like they’ve known each other for years and waves at Shaun, handing them each a small blue box. Shaun opens his instantly, despite Aaron hissing at him to mind his manners, and reveals a polaroid of him and Lea he doesn’t remember taking. He thanks her and runs it up to her room. Glassman opens his, eyebrows raising at the small pin the shape of a red apple. She tells him it’s a teacher thing.

Shaun gives Lea her present from both him and Glassman as soon as he returns from upstairs, shyly handing it to her and then moving out of her line of sight. It’s in a long rectangular jewelry box so she’s already assuming what it is before she opens it. Lea begins to tell them she’s not big on jewelry when it finally opens. It’s not a necklace, like she had assumed. Rather it’s a keyring with a red and white Gran Torino keychain on it. She looks at Shaun. “Wow, this is, cool.”

“You said that it’s the car your grandfather left for you when he died. Now you have a place to put your car keys. It’s a very practical gift.”

She hugs him, not offended or phased by the way he stiffens and old lightly pats her arm in return. “It is, thanks Shaun. And you too Mr. Glassman.” 

Lea stays long enough to have Christmas dinner with them, leaving just as the sun sets to hop the fence back over to her house. 

Shaun heads up to his room, telling Aaron goodnight, and shuts the door. His phone and been lighting up all day with messages from his friends from school. All wishing him a Merry Christmas. Except Carly who asked if he was Jewish, to which he replied no. She messaged him back with a ‘thank you, really helps my spreadsheet’. He frowns, seeing if Neil had messaged him at all. 

_I would say Merry Christmas, but I bet ur tired of hearing that today, lol, txt me when u see this so we can hang out, k?_

Shaun texts him back.

_I saw your message._

_Straight 2 the point, thats y I like u Murphy. Whatre u doing for New Years?_

_No parties._

_No way, Ive learned my lesson. Just u and me and a movie. Sound good?_

>>>>><<<<<

Glassman doesn’t like it, but when Shaun sticks his bottom lip out, he gives. As he drops Shaun off at the Melendez household he tells him to be safe and be home tomorrow morning before noon and no later. “No later, Shaun I mean that! You’re on thin ice!” Thin ice from Halloween, Shaun thinks. He’s actually really surprised that Glassman said yes when Shaun asked him about going to Neil’s on New Year’s, considering how negatively he talked about Neil since the Halloween incident. 

Shaun waves goodbye as Aaron pulls away, jogging up to the Melendez’s door. It already ten at night so the street is dark and the only light visibly on is Neil’s porch light. Shaun doesn’t even have to knock on the door, the oak slab swinging open the moment he touches the doormat. Neil tugs him inside with a grin.

“Bad Boys or National Treasure?”

“Neither.” 

Neil frowns, leading Shaun to the door that goes into the basement. Neil’s basement was finished and decked out with a surround sound system and a large flat screen TV. Among their friends it had been dubbed the ‘in-house movie theater’. Shaun takes his usual seat on the couch that sat directly in front of the TV. He wished the couch was a little closer to the TV, but when he had tried to move it Neil had lectured him about eyesight. 

“Well, if you don’t want to watch either of those, what movie _do_ you want to watch?”

“I don’t know.” Neil’s frown deepened. 

He gazed over the bookshelf containing all of his family’s DVDs, looking for one that Shaun might be interested in. “How about Mission Impossible?”

“I like the fourth one.”

“We have the fourth one,” Neil slid it out of the bookshelf and walked over to the Blu-Ray player. “Why just the fourth one?”

“I like the set pieces. They’re very interesting.”

“Yeah?”

Shaun nods. Neil drops down right next to him, starting the movie with a press of a button. The movie starts with Tom Cruise walking into a record shop.

Nearly two hours later Neil checked his watch. Eleven fifty-eight. “Hey, it’s almost midnight!” Shaun looks away from the movie, raising a brow at Neil. “It’s a huge cultural event! Be excited!” He lightly shakes Shaun, earning a chuckle. Neil blushes. He looks back to the movie. “Tom Cruise is great and all, but I kinda wish I still had a girlfriend.” He sighed. “Just so I had someone to kiss ya know? Haven’t been alone on New Years since sixth grade.” He shuddered. “It’s so weird.”

“Why do you want someone to kiss?” Neil turns to look at Shaun, unconsciously pushing out his chest and pulling his shoulders back. 

“It’s just something you do, like showing up to a party late,” flashbacks of the Halloween bash made him grimace. “Or like hugging relatives you haven’t seen in a while.” He sighed. “At midnight on New Year’s you kiss someone.”

“Oh, well then I want someone to kiss too.”

Melendez swallows, checking his watch. Eleven fifty-nine. Shaun’s staring at him, bottom lip tugged back by his teeth. Neil doesn’t have to look at his watch to know it’s midnight, there’s fireworks going off outside. 

He doesn’t realize he’s leaning in.

Not until Shaun’s hot breath is against his cheek and their noses are touching. 

He tilts his head, thirty more seconds. 

Shaun lets out a shuddery breath.

“Neil, honey,” his mother rounds the corner of the basement stairs. Neil jerks backwards, placing a hand over his mouth and looking over to his mother with wide eyes. She doesn’t seem to have seen anything. “Go to bed soon, please. Love you.”

“Love you too ma.” He mumbles, grabbing the remote to the TV and turning it off. “I’ll go grab some blankets and pillows.” He swallows spit. “Uh, be right back.” Neil trips over his feet as he heads for the staircase, cursing, and bolting up the stairs.

Shaun smooths down the back of his hair, face red and eyes watery. “Bad, bad, bad,” he whispered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Almost kisses are my SHIT. Next chapter in a week-ish.
> 
> P.S. I have another multichapter work in the pipelines, currently just a short plot summary, but it has potential. Anyone up for a Pirate Captain Neil?


	10. Dirty Little Secret

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They don’t talk about it. Much.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Building up some tension with this chapter. At some point the rope has to snap. Enjoy.

They don’t talk about the almost kiss. They barely even look at each other for the first month back from winter break. Occasionally in class Shaun will ask a question Neil knows the kid has the answer to already, so he’ll always respond with a rude remark he’ll come regret later. 

Neil doesn’t mean to hurt Shaun, doesn’t mean to make him wince whenever Neil snaps at him when they two are alone. But he just can’t bring himself to talk to the kid without wanting to punch himself in the face.

The holidays had been stressful for Neil, they always were, but with the added stress of the Jessica debacle he found himself vulnerable and prone to feeling emotions he otherwise wouldn’t. Hence why he flirted with one of Jessica’s best friends through Instragram DMs, despite the fact that he couldn’t stand the girl. And it’s what he’s using to blame why he leaned into Shaun’s mouth on New Years Eve. That and the fact that Shaun is an innocent kid who clearly got attached to him way to fast. And _oh god_.

 _He almost defiled Shaun Murphy._ He shudders, unable to shake the feeling that he _still_ wanted to defile Shaun Murphy.

“Stop thinking with your dick, Melendez.” He grumbled, rubbing his forehead. Marcus tapped him on his arm. Despite their occasional falling outs the two were pulled together like magnets in their shared classes. He glared at Marcus. “What?” He let the ‘t’ out with a crisp flick of his tongue. Marcus wasn’t fazed.

“What’s bothering you? You’ve been in your head for the last few weeks. I’m starting to think I should be concerned.”

“It’s nothing.” He put his head in his hands, staring at the light brown laminate of his desk.

“ _Nothing_ is making you pretty upset.” He told Marcus to go fuck himself. The other boy sighed, leaning back in his chair, doing his best to make their conversation conspicuous to the teacher at the front of the room. “You can talk to me. I promise not to take sides.” When Neil didn’t say anything, Marcus sighed, leaning back up in his seat and doing his best to pay attention. 

Neil looked over through the space in his bent arm. Who else did he have? Shaun was his usual go-to, but Shaun was who he needed to talk about. And he couldn’t go to any of the underclassman that he was friends with because they were Shaun’s friends first. He looked away when Marcus glanced over. Maybe he could talk to Jessica? She always had good relationship advice for her friends, maybe she could lay some wisdom on him?

And she was more trustworthy than _Marcus Andrews_. 

So, he had lunch with her that day, forfeiting the usual time he would spend with his brand-new group to sit in Jessica’s passenger seat and listen to her bitch about her parents. She was preparing to leave for UC Berkley in the fall and her parents were not at all happy about that. Especially her father who had reasoned there was no real motive for Jessica to get a degree in law, not if she could ‘marry up’, living off his inheritance in the meantime. But Jessica didn’t want to ‘marry up’, didn’t want to have to rely on someone else for a livelihood. She wanted to be her own person with her own bank account. 

Neil sympathized with her, telling her that she should just tell her dad to shove it and do what she wants. She had smiled when he said that, one of her smiles he rarely got when they were together. “So, enough about my problems, what did you want to talk about?”

He fiddled with his fingers, thinking of the best way to word this. “I think I messed up real bad Jess.” She nodded, waiting for him to finish before saying her piece. “I was with…someone and we almost,” he waved his hand around, unable to say it. “ _Kissed_. And then I left. And now things are weird between us, but I don’t want them to be…”

“You like this person?”

“Yeah. But only as a friend.”

“Are you sure?”

He looked to Jessica, she was calm. Driving as if it was second nature. “Yeah, I’m sure.”

She smiles. “It’s Shaun, isn’t it?”

“How’d you know?”

“Pretty obvious you two are peas in a pod. Anyone could see it.” She tapped her fingers against the steering wheel. “It’s part of the reason why I broke up with you.”

“You broke up with me because of Shaun?”

She shrugged. “I knew from the moment you two became friends that I’d never be more important than him.”

“That’s not true.”

“You can lie to yourself all you want, but don’t lie to me.”

>>>>><<<<<

Glassman is surprised to see the person holding his door open is Shaun. The two haven’t really spent much time together at school since the first day of classes. He smiles, closing his laptop. “Do you need something, Shaun?”

“I have a few questions.” Shaun pulls a piece of notebook paper out of his pocket unfolding it. Glassman gestures to the seat across his desk. Shaun takes it, laying his paper out and smoothing down the creases. “Do friends kiss friends?” He asks, reading off the paper.

Glassman frowns. “Not in my experience.” 

Shaun writes down his answer. “Can people like both genders?”

“I can’t see why not…”

“Do people kiss on New Year’s Eve?”

“Sometimes…Shaun you can talk to me about relationships.”

Shaun looks confused. “I am.”

“Oh.” Glassman shouldn’t be this surprised. Shaun has always been one to converse in a more intellectual way. Shying away from personal emotions to talk about theoretical situations instead. “Any other questions?”

“No, thank you for your help.” Shaun refolds the paper.

“Yeah, of course Shaun. If you need anything else, please, ask.”

“Okay.”

“Okay. I’ll see you at home.”

“On New Year’s Eve, Neil Melendez and I almost kissed.”

Glassman runs a hand over his mouth. Neil Melendez being anything other than straight is a bit rattling. Not that he knows the student very well, but he just can’t imagine him kissing another male student, let alone Shaun. “Um, okay. And what happened?”

“We were startled by his mother and we haven’t spoken since.”

Glassman nods. “Well then you should probably speak to him Shaun.”

“I know.”

“So, why haven’t you?”

“He seems upset.”

>>>>><<<<<

Claire sorted out her candies on top of the plastic bag she brought them in. Mr. Novak didn’t care what they did in class, as long as they weren’t yelling, on movie days so she spent the time talking to Shaun and Neil. And occasionally messing around with Carly via text message. “Here,” she said, scooping up ten to hand to Shaun. None for Neil, he didn’t seem like the type. Shaun thanked her, looking at the little candied hearts in his hand.

Each one had a silly saying on it, they made him intrigued enough to read each one.

He turned around in his chair, clicking his nails on Neil’s desk behind him. Said boy lifted his head, offering a soft smile. “Hello,” Neil waved. “Happy Valentine’s Day,” he grabbed Neil’s hand, opening his palm and dropping five of the hearts Claire gave him onto it. Neil looked at his hand then up at Shaun. “We’re…okay?”

“Not really Shaun.” Neil said, poking at the sugary hearts. “We can’t just ignore what happened. We have to set boundaries.”

“Boundaries?”

“Yeah, boundaries, Shaun.” He scratched at his jaw. “Clearly neither of us wanted what happened to have happened,” he didn’t look over to see what Shaun’s expression. Didn’t want to see if Shaun _did_ want it to happen. Because no matter what either of their feelings were, it _couldn’t_ happened. Couldn’t ever happen. “We’re friends, that’s it. No more hanging out just the two of us. No more one on one lunches. Friends don’t do that. They don’t act like we act.” He leaned in, whispering so no one else could hear him but Shaun. “They don’t almost kiss each other. Got it?” Shaun nodded. “Good. Glad we’re on the same page.”

Shaun turned back around, folding his hands on top of his knees. Maybe he was wrong about Neil and about himself. Neil was right. They’re friends. That’s all they’ll ever be. Friends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Neil be treating Shaun like a dirty little secret, tsk tsk, get your over yourself Melendez.


	11. Real Friends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lea hates the library. And all the misery lurking there.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay this chapter is few days late and kinda short and I’d like to pretend that I have a valid excuse but I don’t since I was playing the new God of War all week trying to get all the trophies, but the chapter is here now and I did my best to tie up this section of the story. Next part is the final few weeks of Neil’s senior year including all the fun stuff seniors do.

Neil had made it very clear that Shaun wasn’t allowed to speak with him unless there was someone else there. So why had the other boy requested a study session at the library? Albeit he had mentioned that he would be bringing one Marcus Andrews along with him, for reasons known to the both of them. Shaun figured that if Neil would be bringing someone, the he should bring someone as well, less it be two versus one. Which is why Lea, who only recently got her driver’s license, drove him to the town library.

Twirling the keychain around her fingers, Lea glanced around the parking lot. “Your boy here yet?”

Shaun shook his head, he didn’t see Neil’s car anywhere. “We should wait inside.” She agreed.

For a Saturday the library was rather empty. Not a group of teenagers or little kids with pop-out books in sight. They secured the area of couches in the back corner, Lea flopping down with her dirty boots on the maroon colored fabric. Shaun sat on the couch next to hers, setting his backpack down and pulling out his books. “What’s the deal with this kid anyways?”

Shaun shrugged. Lea knew as much as he knew about Neil, Shaun never one to keep anything from his (self-proclaimed) best-friend. She had been there the day of Neil telling him that they could no longer be as close as they used to be, been there for Shaun’s confused questions about signals and if Neil had been giving him all the _right_ signals for so long why had he been so cold since New Years? Lea could only comfort him, lost for answers herself. 

“Well he better get here soon, libraries give me the creeps.”

“Libraries give you the creeps?”

“Yeah! I mean they’re so quiet and people could stare at you through bookshelves and you wouldn’t even know! It’s the perfect hunting ground for a serial killer.”

Shaun narrowed his eyes at her. “That’s…morbid.”

“Life’s morbid Shaun, better get used to it,” she sat up. “Is that him?” He followed her line of sight, connecting with Neil. Who was alone.

He stood just as Neil came to stand in front of the couches, looking completely out of place. “You said Marcus was going to tag along.”

“Yeah well he bailed for some girl. But I see you brought someone as well.” He smiled at Lea, who didn’t bother to stand and just waved. “Neil.” He said, attempting to be conversational with someone other than the doe-eyed boy standing next to him.

When the girl just hummed and nodded, Shaun supplied her name for him. “This is Lea, she’s my neighbor.”

“Cool, well, uh I guess we should get started.”

Neil would rather be anywhere but sat between Lea and Shaun. One with a set of eyes that were scrutinizing him and another that were pleading for forgiveness. He couldn’t handle either of them. But he needed to be prepared for his chemistry test in a few days. Everyone else in his class had already formed study groups or were too busy preparing for other tests to pair up with him. Not that anyone would want to, considering his attitude the past few weeks, so his options were limited. And Shaun was a chemistry wizard, despite the student not even taking the class. 

“Wrong again.” Shaun said, lowering the flashcard to the side of him. “Next one.”

“Um,” Neil read the chemical equation slowly, telling himself that he knew this one, it was easy. “NH3…plus HCl equals NH3Cl?”

“Wrong again. Next one.”

“Oh, come on Shaun! Your questions are ten times harder than what’s going to be on the test.”

“I took these questions from a test prep website.”

Neil groaned. “I’m screwed then.”

“No, you just need to study harder.”

They quickly went through the next few flashcards, Neil getting one right finally, and Shaun decided that they should take a break.

“Agreed.” Lea said, dragging out the ‘a’ as she hopped to her feet. “I’m feeling some vending machine snacks, Shaun?”

“I brought an apple with me.”

“Okay, so a no from you, how about the normal human being in the crowd? Vending machine snacks?” Neil shrugged. “Look someone’s gotta come with me, I’m not about to go wander around a library by myself.” 

Neil looked to Shaun for an explanation. The boy ignored him and bit in to his apple. “Fine, I’ll come with.”

Lea twirled her quarters between her fingers, window shopping the snacks in the machine. Neil rested his hand on the metal edges, watching her as she tapped the plexiglass. “What school do you go to?” He asked, knowing very well he had never seen her in the halls of St. Bonaventure. She side-glanced him, a smirk on her lips, but didn’t answer. “So, you’re scared of libraries?”

“You don’t think they’re creepy?”

“I think for something to be creepy you’d probably have to have some sort of past with it.”

“Hmm, and if I dressed up like a bunny and scared you shitless you’d suddenly be afraid of bunnies? No, sir, that’s not how it works. It’s all about the aura of the place.”

“Aura, huh? And Shaun agrees with you?”

“Oh please, Shaun’s all about facts. With a period at the end. Something isn’t a ‘could be’ to him, it’s either an ‘is’ or ‘isn’t’.” She pressed a few buttons and inserted her quarters into the machine. “Which is why I think he’s got such issues when it comes to you.”

“Shaun has an issue with me?”

“Not exactly with you, just sort of about you. The idea that you two _could be_ a thing isn’t something that he understands. And your internalized homophobia isn’t helping.”

“I’m not homophobic, I’m as tolerant as they come.”

She shrugged. “To other people maybe. But to yourself? Isn’t it really such a big deal if you’re gay? I mean like tons of people are gay now-a-days.”

“I’m not gay.” She grabbed her snack from the machine, ripping open the package and taking a bite. “You’re reading this whole situation wrong. Both of us.” 

She smiled as she took another bite. “I’m not Shaun level smart, but I’m not blind either.”

“Clearly you’re just delusional then.”

“Delusional as I may be, that doesn’t change what’s going on in that big old brain of yours. Wake up, before you lose your chance.”

>>>>><<<<<

The boys stood by Neil’s car, Shaun holding his backpack strap tight to his chest. They had spent more time than either one had intended studying, but Shaun was certain by the time they packed up and left Neil was understanding all he had to, so he could do well on his upcoming exam. “I’ll see you on Monday, I guess.”

Long pause. “I guess.”

“Shaun, when I meant we couldn’t hang out alone anymore, I didn’t mean it so literally.”

“How was I supposed to know that?” Neil winced. Shaun had never had such a tone with him. Shaun never snapped at him. It was strange. 

“You weren’t.” He says, scratching his scalp as he thinks. “I should’ve been more…clear.” Neil sighed, glancing over to Lea who was leaning against her car, eyes narrowed at him. “You’re my best friend Shaun, ever since things fell out with Jess you’re the only person I can really turn to. And it sucks that I kinda drove you away.”

“Okay.”

Neil stared at the ground. Apologizing was hard enough as it is for Neil (Shaun and Jess would argue that it was due to his big head and classic narcissism) but having to spell it out was even worse. “I’m…really,” he let out a breath. “Sorry Shaun. Let’s just go back to the way thing were - before New Year’s.”

“Okay.”

“And let’s just ignore whatever’s happened these past few months and move on.”

Shaun bit his inner cheek. “That’s okay. We can do that.”

The weight on his shoulders slipped off and Neil smiled. “Great. I’ll let you know how the test goes.”

“Please do.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So everything’s cool right? Or is it??????? I know y’all want kisses just watch the pot boil for a few more chapters.


	12. Homemade Dynamite

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jared takes Celez on their first real date. Carly seizes the moment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is another just side-ship chapter, if you don’t care about the other two relationships in the story go ahead and skip this. Enjoy x.

It hadn’t rained in weeks so the grass was dry and crunched under Celez’s flip-flops. She wiggled her toes, standing atop the small hill that looked over the city, as she waited for Jared to climb the hill behind her. He had forgotten something in the car and had refused to leave whatever it was behind, turning on his heels to sprint back with picnic basket in hand. Celez had laughed at him, walking backwards so she could watch him go. 

The breeze of the day felt nice against her legs, the cool air blowing the edge of her dress around her knees. She wondered what Jared had planned for the rest of the day. When he had cornered her Friday in the hall his whole body had been bubbling with excitement and told her he wanted to take her out for an all-day date that Saturday, she had been caught off guard. Of course, she had agreed, unable to say no to his big smile and vibrating shoulders. And she didn’t regret it, not with the view she was getting.

Jared finished his second climb of the hill, coming to stand in front of Celez. She smiled up at him, this view wasn’t bad either.

“Got it,” he said, only barely out of breath. Jared set the picnic table down and reached into his pocket. Celez’s eyes followed his hand, widening when he pulled out a small necklace. “We’ve been dating for a while and I just want you to know how much you mean to me.” The silver chain hung loose from his fingers, the end of it adorned with a small blue gem. Jared laughed nervously. “Y-You mean a lot, that’s what I’m trying to say.”

She smiled at him, gently grabbing the wrist holding the necklace. “Thank you, honestly. You mean a lot to me too.”

“Cool.” He said, unable to break eye contact with her. “Can I put it on?”

“I don’t know if it’s your color, but it might work.”

“Don’t be clever,” he rolled his eyes with a chuckle. “Turn around.”

The cold metal of the chain rested against her neck, the gem at the bottom resting perfectly in the center of her clavicle. Her fingers reached up to touch the chain softly, Celez whipping around to look up at him. “You’re the best,” she said.

“No, no,” he smiled as he spoke, wrapping his arms around her waist. “I think The Best is a title we should reserve for you.” He kissed her with his whole body, leaning down and pushing his lips onto her with all the passion in his body. She kissed him back with just as much ferocity.

>>>>><<<<<

Claire giggled when Carly walked away from the ticket booth with a shit eating grin, leaning into the other girl as they walked towards the movie theater. “How did you convince him to give you these!?” She asked, taking the tickets from Carly and staring at the R-Rated movie title in awe.

“You just have to be convincing.” She shrugged, then held out her hand. “But not as convincing as Shaun. He once threatened to throw a rock through my window, so I’d be his study partner.” Claire laughed, biting her bottom lip. That sounded like something Shaun would do. Carly opened the door for Claire, unable to help herself from glancing at the tight-fitting jeans the other girl was wearing. “But, since I bought the tickets and had to use my _charm_ to get them, you get to buy all the snacks.”

They sauntered into the theater, Carly telling Claire to shut it as they stumbled over each other into the dark room. 

The movie was full of sex scenes, jump scares, and the two girl flicking bits of popcorn at each other. By the time the credits scrolled there was more popcorn in their hair and on the floor then in their stomachs.

“What’d you think?” Carly asked as they stepped out into the cool night air, her toes wiggling in anticipation of hearing the other’s voice.

Claire shrugged. “Was quite cheesy, but it was good for what it was.” She chuckled. “Not like the advertised it as a cinematic marvel!” Carly nodded, unable to take her eyes off the other girl. “Although I can officially say that I am _worn out_ on teenagers being murdered via bad CGI.”

Carly cut in front of the other girl, reaching down and grabbing Claire’s hand in a way that could be interpreted as platonic. “Good, because I have a few other plans for you.”

“Is that so?”

She nodded, turning around and dragging Claire by the hand behind her. 

They walk around the outdoor mall, Claire hoping that her arm wouldn’t dislocate from the force of Carly’s pull, and Carly hoping that Claire will be excited about her surprise. 

They cross a bridge made of gray stone to a darker section of the mall, inhabited only by one building Claire didn’t recognize. Said girl slowed down and took a moment to admire the small river below their feet. “You’re not planning on killing me, are you?”

Carly rolled her eyes. “If I was going to kill you I’d do it Dexter style. With lots of plastic wrap and garbage bags.” She gestured around them. “This is more where I would take you if I planned on kissing you.”

They both turned dark shades of red at the words, neither one expecting them to leave Carly’s mouth. “Oh.”

Carly did her best to laugh it off. “Sorry, dumb joke.” She walked up next to Claire, resting her arms on the railing of the bridge. Claire leaned her back against the same rail, glancing down at the other girl. “But, if you want, this is where you can take all your future boyfriends to smooch.” She swung her hips over to lightly tap the other. 

She shrugged as she spoke, “I don’t know if I want to steal your special place.”

“It’s not special just yet,” Carly pulled out her phone, checking the time. “About thirty more seconds, then you’ll see special.”

When the thirty seconds was up lights underneath the water illuminated in purple, then changed to blue, and then continued through a cycle of colors. Claire stared downwards, watching as every few feet small fountains went off sending illuminated water into the air. “Wow,”

“Yeah, they put all this stuff in and no one’s every over here because there’s no streetlamps. But I live life on the edge.” She shrugged, a small smile on her face.

“Maybe you can teach me?”

“Teach you?”

“To ‘live life on the edge’.” Claire used her fingers to air quote the other girl, sitting up off the railing. “Could you do that?” Carly shrugged, bouncing around a yes or no answer, giving Claire a few giggles and anecdotes about how she lived life far from the edge and then Claire kissed her.

Kissed her with both her lips puckered and her hand resting on Carly’s elbow. Kissed her for only a few seconds before pulling away.

“Then maybe I could teach you?”

“I’d like that.”

They stay until the tinted lights turn off. They stay until Carly’s face hurts from smiling and Claire’s fingers shake with excitement. 

They go back when the two officially blunder over their words and ask each other out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This took a lot longer than I thought because I wanted to be able to upload a Murlendez chapter the SAME DAY so I wrote two chapters that are fairly short because I've been in this weird slump of everything I write just seems bad to me so I'm having trouble getting 3k words out atm.


	13. Do You Feel It?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Neil goes tux shopping for prom. And he goes date shopping too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter in two words: BIG OOF
> 
> (PS This is unedited/beta-ed because I just NEEDED to get this out.)

Neil had had to awkwardly ask for Marcus’ phone number, having deleted it months prior to spite the other boy. Ever since reconciling with Jessica he had learned to overcome his deep-seated anger at himself, her, and all their friends, agreeing to play nice and reconnecting with them. Step one (according to Jessica) had been getting their phone numbers again, step two would be prom shopping with Marcus. Jess had said that even though they weren’t together she wasn’t going to let him miss his senior prom. She had gone so far to threaten him with a kidnapping scheme that involved five of his classmates stuffing him in a baby blue suit and red leather shoes.

He was not looking forward to that.

With the newly acquired phone number Neil and Marcus (who are they kidding it was mostly Jessica) planned for a day in the city to go suit shopping for prom. He was kind of glad that Jess had convinced him to go for his senior year, glad that he had finally gotten over himself and reconnected with his old friends. But even so, as they entered the tuxedo that Saturday he couldn’t help but wish he would’ve invited Shaun with them. Maybe just for the comments about how the young boy doesn’t like suits or maybe just for the extra company of Shaun. 

“Isabel said her dress is purple, does that mean my suit has to be purple?” Marcus asked, heading for the back of the store. Marcus was no stranger to suits or black-tie events, but his most recent girlfriend had made him jittery and anxious. He was worried about what she thought of him and how long they would be together. It was the first time Neil had seen his friend actually _care_ about his girlfriend. 

“I don’t think your _entire_ suit has to be purple. Maybe get like a tie or something.”

“Right, right, a tie.” Marcus grabs a binder attached to a counter and begins to flip through swatches. “You got a date yet?”

Neil shrugs. “I was just gonna go with Jess. As friends obviously.”

“Why not just ask some desperate underclassmen? You and Jess were _the_ power couple. Won’t be that hard.”

“I-I don’t know. I’m still reeling from the breakup.”

Marcus groaned, tilted his head back and punching Neil in the side of his arm. Neil glared at him. “It’s time to get back out there, stop wallowing.”

Neil scratched at the pads of his fingers, listening to Marcus speak with the rope inside him threatening to snap. He couldn’t handle it anymore, he had to say something. Get him to shut the hell up and leave him alone. “I’m actually planning on asking someone to prom. On Monday.”

Marcus scoffed and shook his head. “You’re kidding?”

“Nope, not kidding, totally gonna do it.”

“Is it who I think it is?”

Neil raised a brow. He hadn’t really come close to many girls since the break-up. Except maybe Claire. “Who do you think it is?”

“You know…” Marcus raised his brow.

“I-I really don’t.”

“Whatever, let’s just finish this up so I don’t have to think about tie swatches ever again.”

“Until your wedding.”

“Yeah okay my ‘wedding’. Stop being stupid and find a god damn suit.”

>>>>><<<<<

Come Monday Neil still wasn’t sure who he was going to ask to prom. Marcus was on his ass about it too, especially since they actually spent money on suits. Marcus had gone for a gray and Neil had just gotten a classic black tux, unsure of what his supposed date would be wearing. 

Around lunch time he considered telling Marcus to mind his own business and let him be, but then he saw Jess flirting with some guy and his blood started to boil. And being the competitive person he is, he knew he couldn’t let something like this stand. People always talk about winning and losing a break up and he was damn well not going to be the loser.

Claire asked him if he was okay as they ate, his gaze locked onto something ambiguous in the distance. He nodded at her, still not tearing his eyes away. She had attempted to ask again when Neil stood from his seat.

“Is everything okay?” Shaun asked, looking up from his sandwich. Neil cast him a glance.

“Yeah, things are good. Things are…great. Shaun,” he wringed his hands together, his words caught in his throat. He had to do this. If he didn’t he’d be living in the shadow of his past relationship the rest of his life, he was sure of it. “Excuse me.”

Neil quickly rounded the table, just in time to stop a short red head in her tracks. Her name was Grace, he had known her for a few years, occasionally sharing a joke or two with her. She was nice, had a pretty smile. And she was the only girl he knew that potentially would agree to go to prom with him. “Grace,” he said as he grabbed her arm, quickly letting go when she glared at his fingers. “Do you have a date for prom?”

She smiled, shaking her head. “No, I was planning on going with friends. Do you?”

He chuckled. “No, no I don’t.” Neil didn’t have to look over his shoulder to know that his usual lunch table with staring at him. He could feel their eyes boring holes into his back.

“Then it looks like we have something in common.”

“You wanna fix that common problem we have?”

She bit her bottom lip. “Are you asking me to prom Neil Melendez?”

“Is that a yes?”

She blushed. “Sure, but only if I get cheesecake with dinner.”

“Deal.”

He watched her walk away, a weight falling off his shoulders. He looked across the lunch room to find Marcus staring at him with a look of confusion. He flashed the other boy a smile. Marcus looked down at his phone.

Neil got the text a few seconds later.

_What the fuck are you thinking? I knew you were stupid but Jesus Christ Neil get a grip._

He sent back a question mark, sitting down at the lunch table once again. He was greeted with two vacant seats. “Where’d Shaun and Claire go?”

Jared and Celez rolled their eyes. 

Carly glared and grabbed her bag to leave as well.

Neil looked around. What the fuck was going on?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ultra mega supreme OOF
> 
> PS Hey check out my [Tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/lilacsandpaper)! I post stuff about fandoms I like and I take writing requests :)


	14. Whispers In The Dark

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prom dates. Prom

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SHIT’S ABOUT TO FKIN SNAP.

Anger management had never been a problem for Jessica, she’s always been able to control herself so she doesn’t rip someone’s hair out. But hearing what Neil did the Monday before prom she nearly loses it. She sees him in the hallway and has to count to ten so that when she grabs him its not by the throat. Neil grunts as she throws him up against the wall, their noses touching when she leans in.

“Are you really that stupid or did you get hit in the head a few weeks ago?”

Neil attempted to shove her off of him. To no avail. “Why does everyone keep asking me if I’m stupid?”

“You’re taking _Grace Kelly_ to prom. Grace fucking Kelly!”

Jess loosened her grip just a tad, so he could pull his shoulders back. “So? She’s cute. You jealous?”

She had to back away so she didn’t hit him, her fists clenching. “You know damn well I’m _not_. But I am mad at you. So mad Neil, you don’t even know.” Jessica ran her hands through her hair, thinking about a way to fix this. “But because I don’t hate you, I’m going to try and fix your mistake.”

Neil called after her as she walked away, but Jessica ignored it and headed out on her mission, determined to make things right.

She found Shaun right where she knew she would, standing and waiting for his English class to start. Leaning up against the wall she smiled wide at him, glad to see him return it (even if it was only slightly) and look into her eyes for a split second of friendliness. “Hey Shaun, I know we haven’t ever really been close,”

“We’re not friends.” Shaun said.

“Right, we’re not friends. I know that. But I was thinking that I could do something for you.”

“Why?”

“Because this something involves Neil. And I want to make sure that he doesn’t self-destruct this time around.”

“Neil and I are friends, just friends.”

“Shaun, I know that, but can you just listen for a sec?” He nodded. “Great. Okay, so I want to take you to prom. As my date. And as my date I would like to help you get what you want and as Neil’s friend help him get what he wants. Are you following me?”

“Nope.”

She groaned. This was going to be harder to explain than she thought. “Look, I’ve known Neil since we were toddlers and I know when he likes someone. He would always stare at me when he thought I wasn’t looking and whenever he found the confidence he’d smirk in my direction and when he fell for me real bad he started to deny his feelings and go after girls he barely even knew. And I think that’s what he’s doing now, but with you. And while I don’t know you very well I do know the looks you send his way. Shaun I may be a bitch, but I can’t stand seeing someone fall in love on the sidelines.”

“Thank you.” Shaun said. “That all makes sense.” He raised his hand in a high five motion. 

Jessica smiled, giving him a quick high five. His fingers curled at the vibrations. “Awesome, I’ll take you shopping tomorrow, suit is on me. See you then Shaun Murphy.”

>>>>><<<<<

Glassman helped redo Shaun’s crooked tie, making sure it was more center on his chest. The short notice invitation to prom had caught him a little off guard (especially when Shaun said who asked him) but he wasn’t one to look a gift horse in the mouth. Glassman had bought Shaun a corsage to give to the girl which had caused the debate of _why_ he had to buy a corsage to which Glassman just told him to accept it and move on. (Hint: Shaun didn’t)

“Do you know what time she’ll be here?” Jessica had offered to drive, considering Shaun didn’t know how and didn’t have a license, and for that Glassman was grateful. Shaun shrugged and pulled his phone out of his pocket, handing it to his guardian to check his messages. “She said she’s on her way, so probably not long now.” He gave Shaun a once over, nodding his approval. Shaun still sort of looked like a little boy wearing his father’s suits, but at least his shoulders filled out the top of the suit jacket, even if it hung loosely around the rest of his chest. “You look good, Shaun.”

“Thank you.”

>>>>><<<<<

Jessica was careful not to overstep her boundaries with Shaun, always asking if it was okay if she touched him or hold onto his arm. He always said no. But she didn’t take it personally. Jess handed her purse over to the members of student council running the coat table and grabbed the little orange ticket they slid over to her before stepping up the stairs. The ballroom was on the top floor of the building the school had rented for prom, so she had hike up her floor length dress to get up the stairs. She expected Shaun to run way ahead of her, but he didn’t, and she smiled at him as he watched her get up the stairs. “You didn’t fall.” 

“I know, it’s a miracle.” She laughed, stepping up to the top floor. 

To their left was a few tables where only two or three kids sat, along with a long table near the wall full of snacks and a few different types of drinks. To their right was a photo booth and some balloons that matched their school colors. But all the action was right in front of them. The dance floor was surrounded in ceiling to floor black curtains, keeping it dark enough for the colorful lights to dance along with the students. 

Jessica glanced around, looking for Neil. When she couldn’t find him, she frowned and looked over to Shaun. His eyes were wide, and he was fidgeting with his fingers. “Hey Shaun, wanna dance?” He shook his head. “C’mon, we’re settle up in a corner all by ourselves.” He shook his head again. “Is it because it’ll be too loud?” He nodded. “Well,” she smiled. “Then you can thank me later for these.” Jessica reached into the neckline of her dress pulling out a small plastic baggie. She opened it and held out two small orange earplugs.

Shaun instantly took them from her hand and placed them in his ears. Jess smiled. “Thank you.”

“No worries. Now, c’mon,” she held out her hand, not expecting him to take it, but kept herself from flinching in surprise when he did.

They walked around the edge of the black curtains, Jessica pulling back one near the DJ’s table and the two slipping inside. The music bumped through their chest and their feet, causing Shaun’s shoulders to slouch over in attempt to cover his ears even more. 

They swayed next to each other, despite the more uppity house music playing, and Jessica kept her eye out for a certain young man. 

When she saw Neil and his date Grace round the top of the stairs she lightly touched Shaun’s shoulder, leaning in so he could hear her tell him that she’d be right back. He nodded, agreeing to wait in the dark corner while she went to do whatever she was going to do.

Jessica pushed through the crowd of people, nearly tripping over herself in attempt to get to Neil and the redhead before they disappeared from her sight.

Neil raised his brow as she stumbled before him, smoothing down her dress and pushing strands of hair out of her face. “Jessica…” he said in a way of greeting. “You look…nice.”

She let out a huff. “Why thank you Neil, but I didn’t scurry over here for you, I came over for Grace.” She looked at the girl, wrapping her arm around Grace’s and leading her away from Neil. “I’ll bring her back, promise.”

“Uh what, Jess!” 

She ignored him, practically dragging the poor girl towards the tables, checking behind her to make sure Neil headed for the dance floor. When the boy disappeared behind the curtains she pushed Grace into a chair. “Stay here, I’ll get you some snacks.”

“Oh, I can get them myself,”

“Really, I insist.”

Grace looked confused but didn’t argue, resting her chin in her hand and waiting in the plastic white chair. Jessica gave her a thumbs up before chasing after where Neil headed.

She found him just inside the dance floor, face blank as he listened to the music and watched his peers dance around him. Jess laid her hand on his shoulder, causing him to jump. As soon as he realized it was her, he glared. “Where’s Grace?”

“Oh…right, Grace…she’s back there, near the DJ.”

“In a dark corner.”

“Yes.”

“What the hell are you doing?”

“Nothing!”

“Whatever, just can you be civil tonight?”

“I have been civil asshole. Now go, she’s waiting for you.”

Neil rolled his eyes, shuffling through the side of the crowd and heading for the corner Jessica pointed at. He had to carefully push other students to the side in order to get there, earning him a few snide remarks (to which he only responded to one [he was proud of this fact]). Once he got the corner he glanced around, looking for the head of hair he had been with all night.

“Hello Neil.” 

His blood boiled. What the hell did Jessica think she was doing? 

“Shaun, hey…uh…what are you doing here?”

“I was dancing. Now I’m waiting.”

“No, I mean how did you get in here? Who’s your date?”

“Jessica. Is that okay?”

“Yeah, yeah, Shaun why wouldn’t that be okay?”

The boy shrugged, Neil took a step closer. “Because you two used to date. I don’t want to make you mad.”

Neil shook his head. “It’s…it’s alright.” Another step. He looked up when the colorful lights turned off and instead were replaced with dim yellow lights and the electronic song was changed into a slower softer song. Neil sighed. 

“Are you having fun?”

“As much as I can, I lost my date.” He shrugged.

“Me too.” Shaun bit his lower lip. “Guess we have something in common.” Neil cringed at the words, recognizing them as his own from when he asked Grace to prom. Then he realized that he used those words when he asked Grace to prom and Shaun must’ve heard so he must’ve interpreted it as a way to flirt. 

Neil couldn’t help the blush that crept up his neck. “Wow.” Was all he could say.

“Neil.”

“Shaun.” His blush deepened. “Sorry, go ahead.”

“You look nice. Your tie color compliments your eye color very well.”

“Same to you.”

They stayed silent for a lot longer than Neil would’ve liked. Shaun had always been quiet, but never like this. 

“Everything okay?”

“I would like to kiss you now.” Shaun blurted out. 

“Um, what?”

Shaun grabbed Neil by the lapels of his coat and brought him closer. Neil only had a second to realize what was happening and managed to pucker his lips just in time. At first the kiss was awkward, Shaun clearly had no clue what he was doing, but when Neil slid his hands down and grabbed Shaun around the waist, he was able to take more control and help lead Shaun throughout the kiss.

Then it hit him. He was _kissing Shaun Murphy_ and oh god since when did he want to do that? Clearly a long time because he felt like a man starved eating a cheeseburger for the first time in years. He pushed his lips harder against Shaun’s taking a breath in through his nose, so he didn’t have to pull away just yet.

When he had to pull back for air he swallowed down the lump in his throat. “Shit, Shaun.” He shook his head, removing his hands from Shaun’s waist as if he’d been burnt. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have let that happen. Sorry.” He took a step back. Shaun stepped forward. “I have to go.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was not edited or revised, sorry about that, but I needed this one out so I could get the next one ready to go.
> 
> My [Tumblr](https://lilacsandpaper.tumblr.com/)!


	15. Me, Myself, & I

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It’s the last week. Also parties.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oooo boy.

Three feet to his left Neil saw Shaun remove some books from his locker, turn on his heel, and disappear down a separate hall. He let out a groan, leaning his back against the wall and cursing himself for being so dumb. Denying the existence of an almost kiss was one thing. Denying the existence of an actual kiss that potentially could’ve led to a full-blown make-out session was something else entirely.

Unfortunately, he didn’t have the brain power or the time to deal with his sexuality/Shaun Murphy crisis. He had graduation stuff to do, including his party that his mother had insisted he had. Of course, he had thought about killing two birds with one stone, inviting Shaun to his party and explaining everything. Potentially being honest with himself and with Shaun. After all they both deserved that.

Jessica had been on his ass since prom and for the last week she had practically stalked him while whispering in his ear that he needed to grow up and confront his feelings. He had agreed to this, but only after Jessica slapped him upside the head. _Jar your brain back into working order_ , she had said with a smirk.

Neil rubs his neck at the memory. He could skip his second period. 

>>>>><<<<<

The moment Shaun exited class, Neil was there. He averted his eyes instantly, looking to the ceiling and attempting to walk past him. Neil, being the _asshole_ that Claire said he was, grabbed him by the crook in his arm and pulled him closer. Shaun tried to jerk out of his grip, but Neil was stronger than him and all it accomplished was a dull pain in his bicep. “Can I talk to you?”

“No.”

“Shaun, I’m serious.”

“So am I.”

Neil frowned. “Don’t be difficult.”

“Why?” Neil’s about to respond, but Shaun hammers it home. “Because it’d be like there’s two of you.”

Okay. Ouch. But he deserved that. “I said I was sorry, and I meant that I was sorry. Just, listen for a sec.” Shaun looked around for a way out, for a friend nearby he could call over to rescue him. But alas, he was alone. “I want to make up for what happened, _really_ make up for it.” He flicked his eyes to his shoes, then back up at Shaun. “Saturday my mom is throwing me a graduation party. I want you to come.”

“Okay.”

“You remember where my house is?”

“Yes.”

“Okay, cool, um, I guess just show up like around noon?”

“Okay.”

Neil let go of Shaun’s arm. “I’ll see you then.” 

>>>>><<<<<

Two hours after when Shaun was supposed to show up, Neil stood from the lawn chair he was occupying and stomped to inside his house. He ignored his mother’s call after him and headed up for his room, phone in hand. He sent a text to Shaun. 

Hey, where r u?

No answer.

He called the boy. Voicemail.

“Hey, Shaun, where uh – fuck.” He hung up and tossed his phone on his desk. 

“Neil?” Jessica called from his door. He grunted, resting his head in his hands. She picked his phone up, glanced over at him, and nodded. “I told you to get your head out of your ass, just figured you’d be smart enough to do it sooner rather than later.”

“If you’re just here to call me stupid you can leave.”

Jessica sat on his bed, resting her hand on his shoulder. “I’m sorry Neil.”

He glared at her over his shoulder. “Why are you sorry?”

“I should’ve been a better friend to you. I should’ve helped you with Shaun instead of assuming you could do it on your own.”

Neil chuckled. “That’s a little condescending.”

“You know what I mean. We were together for so long neither one of us know how to _be_ with other people.” She rubbed her hands together. “But it was worse for you. You had to…”

“I don’t want to give up on him.” Neil interjected.

“Then go get him.”

>>>>><<<<

Neil picked up the pebble. Was this to cliché? Nah. Tossing it at the window he knew to be Shaun’s, he waited. 

“Psst! Lover boy!” He looked up to the neighbor’s window, frowning at Lea’s smug face. “Climb the lattice, it’ll hold you.”

He gave her a thumbs up as a thanks and began his climb. The window to Shaun’s room was cracked just slightly enough for him to slip his fingers inside and pull it to the side. Crawling carefully through the window he fell to the floor, cursing and cradling his arm. 

The door to the room flew open, Neil quickly got to his knees then up onto his feet. “Shaun.”

“What are you doing here?”

“You…didn’t show up to my party.”

“I…I.”

“I missed you.”

“Why are you here?”

He took a step towards the other boy, not reacting when Shaun took a step back. “I needed to see you.”

“I don’t understand.”

Neil reached forward, grabbing Shaun by the wrist and bringing him towards the bed. He sat and pulled Shaun down next to him. “Tell me to stop, and I will.”

His hand moved to rest on Shaun’s neck, then slowly moved around to grab the back of his head. He leaned forward, making eye contact with the boy. He took one last look before closing his eyes and leaning the rest of way inward. Shaun didn’t say a word, didn’t make a move to get out of the way, just sat still and allowed Neil to press their lips together. He kept it short, only wanting to send a message.

“Are you staying?”

“I’d be a fool to run away from you for a third time.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Super short, but it’s just the short snap of a wire. Next chapter will be longer.


	16. Lover of The Light

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Last day. First date.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now that they’ve acknowledged their feelings the rest of the story is just going to be fluff and closing up loose ends, enjoy.

Shaun Murphy’s final day of his sophomore year flies by much faster than he thought it would. It might have something to do with his teachers being extremely laid back as their students ran around the classroom exchanging phone numbers and words of encouragement. Or it might have something to do with the constant ping of new texts showing up on his lock screen. He smiled each time his screen lit up. Come last period psychology, Claire couldn’t ignore it anymore.

“What’s got you so bright eyed?” She asked, leaning over in attempt to read the texts off his screen.

Shaun leaned away, careful to keep his conversation’s private. “I’m going on a hike after school.”

“With Neil?”

They had all contemplated hiding their relationship from their respective friend groups, but after careful consideration it was decided that Shaun couldn’t and wouldn’t hold onto their secret for long. So they spilt the beans carefully to each party, starting with Claire. She had been ecstatic, patting Neil on the back and telling him ‘good job for not being an asshole’. He accepted the pseudo-compliment tentatively. Jessica was told second, her face turning smug and her legs crossing over one another. Neil had made that meeting quick, unable to handle the overwhelming aura of ‘I told you so’ Jessica was emitting. The rest of their friends found out naturally, either by someone telling them or Neil being overly touchy in public. 

“Yes, with Neil.”

She grinned, leaning away from him. “Have fun.”

“I will.”

The final bell of their final day of the school year rang only a few minutes after, Shaun unable to hide his excitement, packed up his things and bolted out of the classroom (promptly ignoring the shouts he rendered from fellow students). Claire called after him, attempting to follow him out of the classroom but losing him the moment he hit the sea of students.

Shaun didn’t mind all the disgusted looks as he shoulder checked a few of his peers as he bolted down the steps and out the front door of the school. Past where parents picked up and dropped off their students he spotted Neil’s black Subaru with the driver leaned up against the doors. Neil isn’t looking up towards the door and is instead focused on adjusting his jacket and messing with his hair. Shaun looked down at his own clothes, smoothing out the creases and combing his fingers through his hair. 

He crossed the parking lot quickly, hopping onto the grass, and approaching Neil in a matter of moments. The other boy looked up and instantly smiled. “Hey you,” he reached out, waiting for Shaun to take the last step and let Shaun hug him. “Ready?” Shaun nodded and allowed Neil to open the passenger door for him.

They don’t listen to music on the hour drive into the mountains, per Shaun’s request, and instead engage in light conversation. Neil asks about Shaun’s day and Shaun returns the question verbatim. Neil just shrugs and tells the other about his new job at the coffee shop near his house. 

He shows Shaun a few of the burn marks on his hands he earned from spilling coffee during his first week of work. He’s surprised that while he’s telling the war story of his burns that Shaun’s hands carefully grab one of his off the steering wheel, inspecting each forming scar. “Your hands will be fine.” Shaun says, setting Neil’s hand back down.

“Good. I’m gonna need them.”

“Yes, you do.”

>>>>><<<<<

The mountain is empty when they arrive, most kids deciding to go to parties or to the pool on the first day of summer, not up to the mountains for an afternoon hike. But Neil figured that Shaun in a pool was not something either one of them wanted to deal with and parties had proved a bad idea in the past, so hiking it was. 

Neil lifted his backpack out of the backseat and threw it over his shoulder. He had made sure to pack a few water bottles and some granola bars, only planning on being there for just a few hours before taking Shaun home. “Did you decide which trail you wanted to do?”

Shaun nodded, map in hand as he scanned the area. “I want to take the Ridge trail.”

“The Ridge trail? Shaun that’s like a six-and-a-half-mile hike.”

“Six point four miles.”

Neil sighed, shaking his head. “Fine, fine, the Ridge trial it is. But if I hear one ounce of complaining from you I’m eating the mint chocolate Clif bar.”

“What’s the other flavor?”

“Banana nut bread.” Shaun scrunched up his nose. Neil had bought that one specifically for him and the mint chocolate one for Shaun, but he wasn’t above switching the receiver of each bar. “So, you good to walk the whole way?”

“Yes.” Shaun said, not wanting to back down.

Neil nodded, walking over to Shaun and wrapping his arm around the other’s shoulder. “Good, then let’s get going.”

As athletic as he was, the heat of the midday sun had almost done him in by the halfway point. Thankfully the state had knew people like him would get beaten around by the sun almost immediately and placed a bench right before the skyline of the hills surrounding the mountain. He practically fell onto the old bench, letting his backpack fall off him and onto the dirt. Shaun sat beside him.

“How are you not sweating up a storm?”

“I don’t mind the heat. Plus I’m in perfectly good shape.”

“Are you saying I’m out of shape?” Shaun didn’t say a word, instead leaning over to poke at Neil’s stomach. 

“Just a little.”

He did his best to sound disgruntled and knocked Shaun’s shoulder with his.

They fell silent. 

“Pretty view.” Neil said.

“Yes. It is.”

As the silence crept up once more he let his hand slide over and rest on top of Shaun’s. His fingers wrapped softly around the set of fingers under his own. Shaun didn’t protest, or move, or say anything. And it made Neil happier than he had been in a long time.

>>>>><<<<<

The sun is dipping behind the horizon when they make it back to Neil’s car, hand in hand. Neil classified their first date as a success, with no broken bones, scrapes, or broken hearts he could go home happy. Rushing to open the door for Shaun he didn’t make a move to get out of Shaun’s personal space, testing the water. Shaun took notice of this and stood between the car and the open door, holding onto the frame. “You can kiss me, if you want to.”

“Do you want me to?”

Shaun nodded.

Neil kissed him, pulling back with a wide smile. “I had fun. Did you?”

“Yes, I had fun.” Shaun had a knack for avoiding eye contact with mostly everyone, choosing to find a few points off in the background to focus on instead. But recently, he had been _looking_ at Neil. Really putting the effort in to make Neil feel special. And Neil did his best to return the favor.

Once he drops down into the driver’s seat he lifts his phone out of his cupholder and presses the power button. There’s a message on his lock screen from Jessica. 

_Have a good time tiger ;)_

Rolling his eyes, he starts his car up and pulls out of the parking lot. 

Shaun falls asleep on the drive home. Neil lets him.

>>>>><<<<<

The next day arrives with an all too familiar knock on Shaun’s bedroom window. He swings his legs off the bed and runs over to the window, unlocking the glass and lifting it up. Lea falls through and onto the ground. But she has a smile on her face the whole time so Shaun doesn’t think he should be worried. “Hey Shaun.” She says, moving around him to sit on his bed.

“Hello.”

“How was your date?” Lea had been the first of his friends to know that Neil was going to take him to the mountains. Her face at the time had been one of skepticism and her immediate reaction was to give him advice on how to shove Neil away if he ‘tried anything’. Shaun would make sure that Lea knew that Neil had been quite the gentleman.

“Fun.”

“Just fun?”

“He was very nice to me.”

Lea nodded. “That’s good. You two,” she waved her hands around. “Do anything?”

“Yes, we did stuff, we went on a walk and,”

“That’s…not what I meant. But since you didn’t lead with Neil with his pants off, then I’ll just move on.” She jumped from his bed and opened his bedroom door. “You coming?”

“Where are we going?”

“My house, I’m going to finally teach you how to properly hold a controller. So, c’mon, pedal to the metal buster.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have such trouble writing established relationship lol, which is why i love writing slow burns, but they had to get together at some point!


	17. Remember Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys discuss the next school year. And pack.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hahahahahaha what a delay amirite hahahahahahhahahaha sorry smile.jpg

They’re sitting in Neil’s room, one on the bed and the other swiveling on Neil’s desk chair. Next to Neil on his desk is a white opened envelope. It had arrived earlier that morning, a white piece of paper that felt like a brick in his hands. He had opened it once Shaun had arrived. It had made the air thick.

Neil had been accepted for a full ride scholarship to UCLA’s pre-med program. It was exactly what he wanted. It was perfect. But so was Shaun.

“It’s not very far, you can visit often.”

“Okay.”

“And I can help you get your license, so you don’t have to rely on me or Glassman for rides.”

“Okay.”

“And we’ll get you a car, a real safe one.”

“I don’t want a car.”

“Then I’ll get you a motorcycle.” He said, half-joking.

“I don’t want to drive.” Shaun snapped, fingers curling into the fabric below his hands.

Neil nodded. “Than a bus pass, I’ll get you a bus pass.”

“I like the bus.”

Neil picked up the envelope and placed it into a drawer, hiding it from view. It was a bitter sweet feeling, knowing that once the summer ended he would move onto the next chapter in his life, one that would either include Shaun or not. He hoped that it would. He wasn’t so ignorant to believe that Shaun would ‘wait for him’ or whatever, but he at least hoped that the two would attempt to stay together.

He sits next to the other boy and carefully takes his fingers in his hand. It’s his silent way of letting Shaun know that he’s there. And that he doesn’t plan on leaving anytime soon. “Do you have any plans for summer?” He asks softly, squeezing his hand a bit tighter.

“Nope.”

He bites the inside of his cheek. 

“Maybe we should do something. One last hurrah?”

“Okay.”

“What do you wanna do? Probably not the amusement park, right? That place is loud even for me. How about a movie? Or we could go on a hike again.”

“I want to play video games.”

Neil frowns. “Uh. Okay. Are you sure? We can go out and do something too.”

Shaun shakes his head. “No, I want to stay here.” Neil raises a brow, hoping that it urges the other boy to continue. It takes a few seconds, but Shaun catches on. “You are about to leave for a long time and spend most of that time with people that aren’t me. Right now, I’d like to monopolize the time I have left with you.”

Neil can’t help the grin on his face. “You make it sound like I’m dying. Which I’m not by the way.” He adds the last part when Shaun’s head whips towards him with a concerned look. “But, if you insist, then we can stay in,” he leans into Shaun’s ear. “Play some video games,” he lowers the volume of his voice just so. “Watch a few movies,” Neil let one of his hands rest on Shaun’s thigh, smiling when he felt Shaun’s hand come and grab onto the front of his shirt, encouraging him to keep going. “Maybe lay down for a while.” He looked up to Shaun’s face and smiled when he saw the red tint on his cheeks. “Or,” he said, leaning away. “We could just run through the new video game my mom bought me. It’s supposed to be a real doozy.”

“Are you attempting to tease me?”

Neil looked appalled. “Attempting? I thought I was doing a pretty good job of actually doing it.”

Shaun shrugged. “It was…teasing, but I can manage it on that level.”

“Are you challenging me, Shaun Murphy?”

“No. Why would you say that?”

><><><><><><><><><><><

Sighing, Neil set the books in his hand down into a box and turned to grab Shaun’s wrist. He didn’t squeeze very hard, but he did lock his own arm in place, so Shaun couldn’t move. “There’s no need for you to be helping me with this.” He knew how hard it was going to be for Shaun to accept that he would be gone for the next nine months, knew how hard it was for himself, so he figured he could spare the kid some heartache and not make him pack his things. Shaun however had seen the empty boxes and got right to work without question. It made Neil a little uneasy.

He wasn’t sure what Shaun was thinking most of the time and for the majority of it, he was fine with that. Shaun was his own person, Neil didn’t _need_ to know what was on his mind all hours of the day. But now he kind of wished his boyfriend was more of an open book.

“Really, Shaun, I can take you home. I know this-,”

“I’m fine.” Shaun said, voice level.

“You sure?”

Shaun nodded. “I knew this day would come and I’m okay with it. We’ve made plans on how to stay in touch. We’re okay.”

Neil smirked. “Yeah, we are. And we’re _going to be okay_ as long as we don’t forget about each other.”

Shaun raised a brow. “That’s…very cliché of you to say.”

“What can I say? I’m corny as hell.” Shaun nodded, going back to picking up things off Neil’s desk and placing them carefully into boxes. Occasionally he’d grab a piece of packing paper and roll them up tightly so things wouldn’t break. Neil didn’t pack nearly as many things as his counterpart, too busy watching Shaun move fluidly around the room, measuring things with his fingers so the boxes were pack perfectly.

They taped everything up once they got a majority of the room done and placed all the boxes in the corner. Neil glanced dreadfully at his closest, hating the idea of having to pack even more things, even if was just his clothes.

“Maybe I’ll just live here and commute the fifty miles to school everyday.”

“That would be very inefficient.”

Neil hummed his agreement and lay down on his bed. Shaun sat next to him. He took the opportunity to wrap his hand around the younger boy’s hip bone and rub circles with his thumb. They had both come a long way since the beginning of their relationship. Shaun was much more comfortable with Neil touching him and Neil was much more clear on what the boundaries were.

Things were good.

“Yeah but then I wouldn’t be very far from you.”

“You _are_ really corny. It’s very endearing.”

“Oh, I bet it is.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i actually am sorry this took so long to get out and that it isn't very long, i think my problem is just that these last two chapters are just to tie everything up so it just feels a little empty and like i'm just writing filler.  
> i hate ending things.  
> RIP ME.


	18. Epilogue- The Power Of Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex Park considers his new life as a college freshman.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi there.

Four weeks into the school year and kids were already partying in the hallway. Alex Park could not believe he had to wade through drunk eighteen year old kids just to get to his goddamn room. This was college people, not a 24/7 party. He cringed at the sight of a couple sucking face just outside his door. He stomped past them, hoping to emanate a death threatening aura. 

It must’ve worked because the moment the two catch his eyes they scurry off to go find some other dark corner to dry hump each other.

Unlocking his door with the electronic card key, Alex shuffled inside his dorm room. The lights were all off so he instantly assumed that his roommate must be at the library still, so he began to throw his things on his bed and remove his shoes.

The room was needless to say, cozy. With only enough space to fit two extra long twin beds and two nightstands, there was barely enough room to keep the two roommates from touching fingertips while they were sleeping. At the very least he got assigned one of the rooms built with drywall and not cinderblocks, so his room didn’t feel so much like a prison.

And roommate wise he had no complaints. Neil Melendez had been as well-mannered and kind as his background check had suggested. Of course, he hadn’t given this particular bit of praise to the other college freshman, no need to freak him out just yet. Plus, with the first tests of the semester rolling in Neil (and by proxy himself) were too busy studying to really even talk to one another. They lived in a quiet symbiotic relationship. 

Bedtime was at eleven. Wake-up at seven. Ignore each other unless you absolutely needed to talk to the other man. It was good.

Until right now apparently.

When Alex Park turned the lights on he was greeted with the mind scaring image of his roommate, Neil Melendez, debauching a pale ass kid in his bed. For the most part, their clothes were still on, Park only getting a small glance at the newcomers chest, Neil’s hand having ridden up the kid’s shirt.

Park felt his whole face heat up and he’s pretty sure he let out the most indecent squeak his body can make. With the reaction of a well trained police officer he shut the lights back off, threw the room’s door open, and took one large step back out into the hallway. As the door slid shut he heard Neil’s voice softly speaking to the kid then loudly shouting after him.

Alex couldn’t stop the blush on his face. This was the last thing he expected to walk into and quite frankly he was a little insulted that Neil hadn’t mentioned to him that he had a boyfriend. Or maybe it wasn’t his boyfriend. _Oh god, my roommate is a hussy._

“Alex!” He looked up from his feet to Neil’s sheepish face. “Sorry about that, I – we lost track of time and I forgot that you lived here for a moment, ‘cuz I was, you know, caught up in—in that, but we’re done now, you can come back in.”

“Is he your?”

“Boyfriend? Yeah, don’t worry I won’t be bringing random guy or girls back to the room on any basis. Just him.” He wrung his hands together. “His name is Shaun, by the way. You should probably get used to him, if I’m completely honest. I bought him a bus pass.”

He wasn’t sure what a bus pass had to do with anything, but he nodded his acknowledgment. If this kid was important to Neil, and if Neil was at the very least his acquaintance, then he was willing to overlook the sexual predicament he found them in and accept this Shaun with open arms.

“Okay, so, introduce me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THE END. GGS WELL PLAYED NO REMATCH SEE YOU WHEN THE NEW SEASON STARTS


End file.
